NickGeranios

The End

2010-02-16T14:32:00.001-08:00

Faithful readers, time constraints and shortened attention spans have conspired to end my desire to continue this blog. I've now moved my social networking activities over to Facebook, where I can be found under Nick Geranios. See you there. Nick

New name

2009-10-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

For the purposes of helping my many readers (you know who you are). I am changing this blog name to Nick Geranios. My original identity as Dick Cleveland was created back in the dark times when reporters were discouraged from having blogs lest they betray some biases. Those days are over, in part because we have no biases.

Tonight we dine in Hell!

2009-10-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

Once again I worked the annual Greek food festival at my church in Spokane. I run the takeout tent, serving hundreds of dinners per night and trying to impart a little of my culture to the customers. This year I decided to employ a visual aid, in the form of this Spartan military helmet. I hoped to look like a warrior from the movie ``300,'' and believe I succeeded.

Recession Road Trip

2009-10-13T14:32:00.000-07:00

I recently wrote a travel article about one of my summer trips. here it is:

RECESSION ROAD TRIP

By Nicholas K. Geranios

SPOKANE, Wash. _ Can you be broke and still enjoy an epic road trip?

Like much of the nation, we had a difficult summer, financially speaking. But when it came time for vacation, I had no intention of staycating.

Along with my two youngest sons, 15-year-old Tom and 13-year-old Eli, I decided to drive through the West, from the Rocky Mountains just outside Spokane, Wash., to the lights of Las Vegas, the grandeur of Lake Tahoe and the high desert of Bend, Ore.

We needed to maximize fun while minimizing cost. It wasn’t that hard to pull off.

First, we ditched the comfort of the SUV and drove my wife’s Volvo S70 (she was starting a new job and couldn’t come, increasing the difficulty of remaining austere in our spending). That decision doubled our gas mileage. Here’s a summary of our Recession Road Trip from July 31 to Aug. 9.

Day One:
I got off work Friday evening and we piled into the car and drove five hours from Spokane to Butte, Mont., where we stayed with my mother-in-law for free. Dinner was Dairy Queen in Missoula, Mont. ($21.56), while gas for this leg was $56.82.

Day Two:
After a lovely breakfast of Safeway donuts and coffee ($15.36, including some road munchies), it was off to Salt Lake City. We stopped at Chili’s in Idaho Falls, dropping $45 on lunch, and filled up the car in Malad for $31. I had found a room on-line at the Radisson in downtown Salt Lake for $80, plus $10 to park. It was right next to the Mormon temple. We met my friend Linda for dinner at a swanky Greek restaurant, which set me back some $120. It was our priciest meal, but anything Greek is well worth the cost.

Day Three:
We had breakfast at Starbucks ($13), checked out of the Radisson, and went to Lagoon, a big amusement park in Salt Lake. With discount coupons from a Coke promotion, the three of us got in for just under $100. We spent the day frolicking in 100-degree heat. Lunch was Arby’s in the park for $25. That evening, we got into the car and drove for four hours to Saint George, Utah, where my mom and brother live. Dinner was at Sizzler in Provo ($41). I filled the car up for $17. We pulled into Saint George about 11 p.m. and slept at my brother’s house.

Days Four-Five
We bummed around Saint George for two days, visiting family and eating mostly at home. I spent $22 taking four people to a matinee, $25 on two trips to Starbucks for afternoon coffee, $28 for gasoline, plus $12.37 for lunch one day at Bajio Grill.

Day Six
My boys are big fans of the Ocean’s 11 movies, and I had promised to show them Vegas on this trip. I booked a room at Luxor for $50! (that’s lower than the daily rate of my mortgage!). We drove the two hours to Vegas from Saint George and checked into the hotel. We walked the Strip to Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville (I am an unrepentant Parrot Head), and dropped $60 on lunch.

My $50 room deal also included $50 in free slot machine credit at the Venetian, so we walked there and I lost the money while the boys explored the lavish casino.
On the way back to Luxor we stopped at a discount booth and bought tickets to that night’s Rick Thomas magic show in the Sahara ($55 for three).

We enjoyed the 100-degree afternoon temps at the Luxor’s massive swimming pool complex (free) and then showered and got ready for the show. Since Vegas casinos have free parking, we drove the length of the Strip to the Sahara.
We got there early, so I sent the boys to the casino’s arcade while I played a few hands of $1 blackjack and drank a $1 beer. Nothing illustrates how hard the recession has hit Vegas than the existence of $1 gaming tables on the strip.

We enjoyed the show, where Thomas made tigers, motorcycles and showgirls disappear, then drove quickly back to the Luxor to hit the dinner buffet ($57 for three) before it closed. Still frisky, we walked over to New York, New York, where the boys dove into the sports arcade games at the ESPN Zone ($15). I took the free time to play a few slots, and won $75 on a penny slot. I quit while I was ahead, and we headed back to our spacious room and slept like the dead.

Day Seven:

We got up early, had breakfast at Starbucks ($21) and hit the road for South Lake Tahoe, Calif., where my oldest son was spending the summer. I spent $25 to top off the gas tank. This was an all-day drive through the desert, and I passed time by inventing how various buildings in the distance were part of Area 51 and contained alien spaceships or bodies. We had lunch at Rita’s ($33) in the town of Beatty, Nev., a gateway to Death Valley. We rolled into South Lake Tahoe late in the evening and checked into the Horizon Casino, which I had booked for $60. We ate at the rather poor but cheap buffet ($32) and relaxed.

Day Eight:
We spent the entire day with my 20-year-old son Kon. That included some shopping to pick up clothes and groceries for him, lunch at IHOP ($47), a matinee showing of Public Enemies ($30) and some time lounging at the Holiday Inn Express. We changed hotels because the rate at the Horizon jumped to $190 for Friday night, and I got the Holiday Inn room for free after cashing in my points to the Holiday Inn Priority Club. That evening we hit a lavish seafood buffet at Harrah’s (cost only $107 for four!). For those of you keeping score, that’s three buffet dinners in three nights. Welcome to travel with boys.

Day Nine:
Another long day in the car. After our free breakfast at the hotel, we bid my son goodbye, put $45 into the tank, and headed to Sacramento and then north up Interstate 5. We had lunch at Arby’s ($16), put $18 in gas into the car, and rolled late in the day into Bend, OR. Not sure how far we would be able to go, I had no reservation and we had trouble finding a room. I finally found a place on about my 10th call, at an independent hotel called the Bend Inn for $97. We ate at Round Table Pizza for dinner ($24).

Day Ten:
Homecoming day. We hit the free breakfast at the hotel, put $35 into the gas tank (in Oregon they have to pump the gas, it’s the law), then drove for three hours to Richland, Wash. Lunch at Dairy Queen ($18), $24 more in gas and then two more hours of driving placed us back in Spokane.

The final toll showed three people traveled for 10 days through eight states, with five nights at hotels and four sleeping at the home of relatives. Total tab: About $1,588.

Adventure: Priceless

Grateful Vegas Jacket

2009-10-03T07:46:00.001-07:00

I recently attended my first Grateful Deadish-style event when a friend took me to a concert by Ratdog, Dead singer Bob Weir's other band. It was a hugely entertaining evening of jam music. Because I don't own any tie-dye, I figured the Vegas Jacket was the most psychedelic thing I could wear. Thanks to the generally sedated nature of the crowd, the Jacket was clearly not the overwhelming presense it normally can be, and for that we can all be grateful. If only I could have worn it to Woodstock. The photo shows me, the Jacket, a libation and tennis buddy Sarah, who was at the concert with her husband Jeff. These two veteran deadheads were following Ratdog across its Northwest tour, also hitting seattle, missoula and boise before heading east towards Omaha. Happy trails, my friends.

Tennis king

2009-10-01T14:22:00.000-07:00

Another spectacular tennis season came to an end for me in Sun River, OR., in August, when my mixed doubles team played well in the Pacific Northwest championships, but failed to advance to nationals.

Here's a picture of me in ``action'' in Sun River.

Cappy is Fancy

2009-10-01T14:18:00.001-07:00

Took Cappy to the dog groomer this week for a bath and haircut. She came back looking very fancy, with ribbons in her ears.

Phoenix

2009-10-01T14:13:00.000-07:00

went down to phoenix for a writing conference in mid-September. This is good news in that the company continues to invest in my development. It's bad news if you consider that after 27 years I still need lessons in how to write.

Saw my daughter down there, and she is loving her new job.

I absolutely loved Phoenix. Temps around 105, cigar lounges where you could buy and smoke a stogie on premises, a Margaritaville restaurant, outdoor pools everywhere. Here's a pix of me outside a favorite restaurant in Phoenix. I like it mostly because of its name, Le Grande Orange, which reminded me of former Montreal Expo Rusty Staub, the original grande orange. I explained this to Miranda, who wondered what a Montreal Expo was.

Summer News

2009-09-07T07:25:00.000-07:00

Miranda has started her new job as a management trainee for Houston's steakhouses. I'll be visiting her this weekend. Miranda has left was her dog Cappy to watch while she embarks on her adult life. Cappy is my little friend.

I was back in action covering Washington State football on Saturday. Another loss, but they looked decent. My Montana State Bobcats were routed by Michigan State, but the flatlanders still have much higher unemployment, na na nana na.

If you are reading this, you might be suffering from Internet addiction.

I went out on my boat four times this summer. Sigh.

The photo shows tom and i outside saint george, utah in the red rock desert

Journey Across the West, the full story

2009-09-03T13:47:00.000-07:00

I'm sure it gets boring listening to my vacation stories, but, seriously, that's all I did this year. Started with the drive from Waterville, Maine to Spokane. When I last wrote, we had started our epic journey from spokane to Vegas, California and back to Spokane.

The trip was great. Tom, Eli, my niece Corina and I drove down to Saint George, Utah, where we stayed with my brother Jim, his family, and my Mom for three nights.

Then I took the boys to Vegas, where we hit Margaritaville, the big pools at Luxor, a magician show and the buffet, with shorter stops in between. Luxor was $50 a night!

Then we drove from Vegas to South Lake Tahoe to visit Kon, staying two nights. Then it was back to Spokane via a stop in Bend, ore.

A week later we were on the road again, back to Bend for a USTA mixed doubles tennis tournament. My team did well down there, and I went 3-3, proving that .500 tennis is my trademark. Ann came down also and played with her team, then hitched a ride home as the boys and i went on to Portland for Tom to play in junior tennis sectionals. We spent a day at Cannon Beach also.

Finally, after taking most of August off, we returned to the workaday life in Spokane. i am presently allowed to spend no money as we pay off our vacations.

Miranda has gotten a job as a management trainee with the restaurant chain that owns Houston's and other fancy places. I'm going to see her in a week.

Here are some vaca pix.

Journey across the West, Part I

2009-08-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

The first two days of our epic journey across the west passed safely. I worked until Friday afternoon, then piled tom, eli and corinna into the car and we drove to Butte, Mont., to spend the night with my mother in law. we had a tasty dinner at Dairy Queen in Missoula. since it was corinna's 13th birthday, we topped it all off with blizzards. but i chose a Dilly Bar, which you can eat while keeping one hand on the wheel. this led to the boys constantly referring to dad keeping a firm grip on his dilly bar while driving.

saturday we covered the 400 miles from butte to salt lake city, stopping at chili's in idaho falls for a horrible and expensive lunch (I'm thinking barf).
we pulled into the radisson in downtown salt lake, whose opulance stunned the children.
we had dinner at a Greek restaurant that night with my old work friend Linda. I learned bad news about Rory, God be with him
Our meal was excellent. I ordered stuffed green peppers. eli had pastitso. we drank non resinated wine, and then repaired to the hotel for an after-dinner drink. I thought i would have to join the hotel bar club, but it turned out that law has been overturned.
tomorrow, we hit the lagoon theme park and then on to Saint George!

Nelson wedding

2009-07-30T15:29:00.000-07:00

Here we are preparing to attend the recent wedding of my nephew Jack at Flathead Lake, Montana.

That's me tastefully dressed in the Vegas jacket, giving a godfather vibe. The blonde to the right is the old ball and chain. Behind are Eli, Miranda and Tom. Sonny is not in the picture.

Legends of Hoopfest

2009-06-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

As a sportswriter, I have covered some amazing teams: the 1985 Chicago Bears, the 1997 Washington State football team, the 1999 Gonzaga Bulldogs. All of these were superior to the 2009 edition of the Associated Pressers who took the field at the 20th annual Hoopfest 3-on-3 basketball tournament.

Yet somehow the Pressers also became a team of destiny. A fearsome foursome that posted a 5-2 record to finish second in the elite media division.

It was an amazing performance, put together by some amazing athletes: Josh Christian, Brian Herrin, Carey Williams and yours truly. Both our losses came at the hands of the champion 406ers, a team of television journalists and noted ringers from Missoula, Mont. I hate those guys.

The tournament plays out on the hot pavement of downtown Spokane, where some 26,000 hoops warriors battle for pride, honor and t-shirts.

I shall summarize the saga.

During a four-game marathon on Saturday, we opened play at 8 am by beating The Inlander, Spokane's free weekly, in overtime. That was followed by an overtime loss to the 406ers, a team with no players beyond their 20s. We recovered to easily pummel the Paperboys, representing both Spokane's daily newspaper and the sad state of print journalism today. Finally we laid waste to The Inlander again in a rematch (perhaps they should become a weakly instead of a weekly).

Sunday, in loser out play, we looked sharp in a win over the Eastern Washington University PR department (payback for those huge tuition increases). That put us in the championship game against the 406ers. We stunned those pretty boy golden throats with a narrow win. But it's a double elimination tournament so we had to play them again.

Playing our seventh game of the tournament, we had nothing in the tank and fell to these callow punks again. They hoisted the special media division trophy, which consists of a brick mounted on a pedestal, while the crowd (or at least our families) showered us with applause. The second place prize is a special runner-up t-shirt, and I immediately donned mine and spent the rest of the afternoon walking through the crowd, pointing it out to people I knew and didn't know.

The photo shows, from left, Carey, Josh, Brian and myself. Remember those names (mine is Nick, FYI). We'll be back.

Team of Destiny

2009-06-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

This weekend I played in the Eastern Washington mixed doubles tennis championships, and posted a sterling 5-0 record to qualify for the Pacific Northwest championships in Sun River in August. It's one of my best performances ever.

Of course, I didn't do this alone. For one thing, it was mixed doubles, so there was a woman present on my side of the court. To those ladies I say, thanks for carrying me like a crippled rhino.

Here is a photo of my stalwart team. In front it's Chris. Second row is Kari, Vera, Char and Michelle. Back row is Brad, Michael and The Flying Greek.

I've been having such a good season that I'm thinking of writing a tennis how-to book, with the title ``In My World It's Always 40-Love.''

Journey Across America, Day Five

2009-05-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

The photo shows the Rockies heading into Bozeman.

We make up on Day 5 in Butte, looking at a five hour trip to Spokane. We exjoy a fine breakfast and chat with Dot, get our oil changed, and hit the highway.

We stop in Missoula for lunch, then head for home. The hours seem to move slower the closer we get to Spokane.

Finally, our drive comes to an end at 2 pm as we pull up to our home. We are very excited to be home.

Journey Across America, Day Four

2009-05-30T20:47:00.000-07:00

Miranda wakes up in a cranky mood and we are in the car by 7 a.m. The trip across North Dakota is on roads that are flat and nearly empty, with a speed limit of 75. We get breakfast at Starbucks in Bismarck, famous as the city where I took the AP test. We also see a sign announcing the continental divide at an elevation of 1,400 feet. This makes me laugh because the divide in Montana is more than 6,000 feet up.

I also tell Miranda I nearly died on this stretch of I-94 decades ago when i was driving to a basketball tournament in Fargo. My Camaro was blown into a 360-degree turn on icy roads, but i kept it on the highway, straightened out, and kept on going. Telling that story always makes me feel like a Duke of Hazzard.

The landscape includes several statues of giant cows that we like.

We have a series of unfortunate stops in Eastern Montana. We pull off the road in Glendive after we see a McDonald's sign, but are told the restaurant is out of business and can find no other fast food joints. We drive an hour down the road to Miles City, where we find an excellent DQ. We eat, but forget to gas up the car. That means in another hour we are pulling over in Hysham to get gas. Three stops so soon is unprecedented for us.

I had hoped to stop at a Ralph Lauren outlet store in Billings, Montana's largest city, but we see no signs on the highway for it so we blast on through without stopping.

The snow covered spires of the Rockies suddenly appear, and two hours later we are in Bozeman, where I attended Montana State University.

We pull off for a walk in the charming downtown, and Cappy makes friends with numerous dogs. We eat a fine light dinner at a sidewalk cafe, then hit the road for 80 more miles to Butte, my wife's hometown.

We are staying with my mother-in-law Dorothy, and have a fine visit before falling exhausted into bed. I am troubled because the car is running very hot.

the photos show me in Bozeman, and Miranda in Waterville, just because we need a pix of her

Journey Across America, Day III

2009-05-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

Thursday morning we are up early, and then plow through morning traffic towards Wisconsin. The tolls keep piling up as we cross Illinois, but end when we reach Wisconsin. However, those slick travel plazas also end, leaving us to exit the highway into strange towns when we need gas or food. One plaza is named for WWII correspondent Ernie Pyle, and this prompts me to contemplate how we journalists have become a simpering pile of stenographers worried about our 401Ks. Pyle, who died in the war, was a real reporter.

I drive for three solid hours, then pull over at a truck stop. We buy a bag of cheese curds and wheat thins for lunch, and i call Kon and wish him a Happy Birthday.

Miranda then takes the wheel for more than four hours, which is too long to go without stopping. We get to Minneapolis-St. Paul, and decide to drive through the city into the western suburbs before stopping. But traffic is heavy and this takes longer than expected. We finally pull off the road when we see a Quiznos, but it turns out to be closed. We spot a grocery store across the street and park there.

Miranda goes in first, while I stay outside with Cappy. But Miranda takes longer than expected, and I am dying to hit the can. So I go around to the side of the building, and relieve myself on the pavement. I look up to realize that I am actually standing on a hill in full view of eight lanes of I-90 traffic. I also have to hold my right arm straight out to keep Cappy from jumping into the spray, so it looks like I am signaling a left turn while peeing. This becomes the iconic scene of the trip so far.

When Miranda comes out, I run inside to buy some chicken wings, and we hit the road again. I tell Miranda about my outdoor evacuation, and she is silent for several miles.

We stop for gas in Sauk Centre, Minn., hometown of novelist Sinclair Lewis, eviscerator of small town mores. There are lots of signs announcing this connection, even though Lewis was brutal in his assessments of such places.

We had planned to put in an 11 hour day and stop in Fargo, but when we get there we decide we have a little more energy and push on for Valley City, ND. We reserve a room at a dog-friendly Super 8, but I am disappointed to find no national chain casual dining restaurants. I eat a charmless hamburger at a truck stop, while Miranda subsists on half a chocolate chip cookie. Our dinner costs $8, and the room is $80.

We fall asleep early after 12 hours of driving.

the photo shows North Dakota from our car window.

Journey Across America, Day II

2009-05-27T16:16:00.001-07:00

We successfully completed our stay at a hotel just outside Erie, Pa., in which we had to sneak Cappy in and out of the room because they did not allow pets. We carried Cappy in a big bag. But the night was nerve-wracking because she would bark everytime someone walked down the hallway, and we were certain we would be kicked out. and also fined $100.

We stopped in a posh suburb of Cleveland to visit one of Miranda's school friends. Their estate was lovely and large, and Cappy got to run around for an hour while we enjoyed homemade scones and visited.

Then we made a hard push through driving rain past Toledo and into northern Indiana, the 7th state we had entered (Maine, New Hamp, Mass, NY, Penn and Ohio). I wanted to stop at Notre Dame for a pix of touchdown Jesus, but Miranda was not interested. Perhaps as punishment, a brake warning light went on as we passed through the industrial hell of Gary, Ind., and the car's power flickered. But it continued to operate and we limped into downtown Chicago, lost and a little spooked. I was able by dint of my earlier residence in the city, and the fact that i was a student of Lewis and Clark, to locate Greektown, and we pulled into the dog friendly Crowne Plaza hotel, where the room cost $150, plus $50 for the dog and $36 to park the car. But something, this did not feel as much as the dozens of highway tolls we paid all day long.

We had a dinner date with lindsay tanner and paul driscoll, old friends from my days as a reporter in Chicago. Lindsay is Miranda's godmother. I took Cappy for a stroll through Greektown before dinner.

Tomorrow, we have about a 12-hour campaign to Fargo. I'm thinking of offering Miranda money if we can get on the road by 9 am.

West to Greatness!

Journey across America, Day I

2009-05-26T18:22:00.000-07:00

Day one of our drive from waterville, maine, to spokane went off with nary a hitch. After spending the night in the kind of hotel where Earl Hickey and Randy might live, I was picked up by Miranda at 8:30 a.m. and we drove down to Portland, Maine, with Miranda at the wheel.

Being poorly prepared, we realized that we had no maps in her car, so we had to sort of wing it to get where we wanted to go.

We drove through New Hampshire to the Massachusetts Turnpike, and across that state. However, my desire to glimpse the many historic cities along the way was thwarted because you cant see anything beyond the lush forests that line the highway.

after paying what seemed about $100 in tolls, we crossed into New York state and motored through Albany. we stopped at these spectacular places along the New York Thruway that included numerous restaurants, bathrooms and gas stations. That made for 20 minute pit stops in which all major business was completed, and we tore through the miles.

I drove for several hours from near Albany to Buffalo, then Miranda made the final push from Buffalo to a strange little town called North East, just outside Erie, where we had a reservation for the night. The whole place looked deserted, except for some ominous locals, and the only place we could find to eat dinner was a Subway. I, of course, fretted loudly over this distressing turn of events. The reason I love to stay in chain hotels is they are surrounded by chain restaurants and other chain stores, and that makes me feel safe. If you have to navigate the dangers of local businesses, then this whole tourist thing have to be re-evaluated.

anyway, we visit a friend of Miranda's in Cleveland tomorrow, then on to Chicago for a night of eating at the Greek Islands and reminiscing about the past.

the end is near

2009-05-15T15:36:00.000-07:00

Continuing my quest to protect right living, I wrote this recent story about efforts to ban smoking of golf courses. You heard that right. Don't worry, I am fighting for all of us

SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) _ For the cigar-smoking golfer, 18 holes and a stogie rank with peanut butter and jelly or gin and tonic among life's ideal combinations.
¶ That's why recent efforts across the country to ban smoking on public golf courses are being greeted by those players like a triple bogey. In the balance between individual rights and public health, weekend duffers feel authorities have become unreasonable.
¶ The city of Spokane just tried to ban smoking on its four public golf courses, only to be stymied by an outcry from players and smoking rights advocates.
¶ "Golf and cigars go together like a hand in a glove," said Dale Taylor of Tacoma, president of the Cigar Association of Washington, a smokers' rights groups. "That may be the only time some people smoke."
¶ Washington state is among the least hospitable places for smokers, with no smoking allowed in any public indoor space, or outside within 25 feet of a door or window. But the proposed smoking ban on public links has struck a nerve, in part because of the vastness of golf courses. Playing a typical 18-hole course, such as Downriver in Spokane, means traveling easily more than three miles.
¶ "If I was just walking and somebody was 300 feet away, I'm bothering them?" avid smoker and golfer Greg Presley told the Spokane parks board during a public hearing. "We've got to have some common sense."
¶ Evidence of the illnesses caused by second-hand smoke has led to widespread bans on indoor smoking nationwide in recent decades. The great outdoors is now at the forefront of campaigns led by smoking opponents, and hundreds of places ban it in outdoor restaurants, parks and beaches, said Annie Tegan, of the Seattle office of Americans for Nonsmokers' Rights, which seeks to limit smoking.
¶ Because bans are enacted at the local and state levels, it is difficult to determine their exact number of them. Tegan knew of about a dozen communities that have banned smoking on public golf courses, including San Francisco, Glendale and Pasadena in California; Hawaii County, Hawaii; Bloomington, Minn.; Goshen, Ind.; Abilene, Texas; and Arvada, Colo.
¶ The Hilo Municipal Golf Course is the only public course on the big island of Hawaii, and last year's ban on smoking in all public parks, beaches and other recreation facilities has not been popular, said assistant pro Sharol Ayai.
¶ "There's big-time complaining," Ayai said. "The golfers will still smoke because most feel it is unfair. We all pay taxes."
¶ Ayai said the ban, which does not apply to private golf clubs, has not had much impact on the number of rounds played at the course, in part because it is ignored.
¶ Some communities that tried to ban smoking on golf courses, like Thousand Oaks, Calif., relented after complaints by golfers, whose fees support the facilities.
¶ "You really have to stretch things to imagine you are offending anybody when you are outside smoking cigars," said Gordon Mott, executive editor of Cigar Aficionado magazine, which includes a monthly feature on smoking and golf.
¶ Some non-smokers oppose outdoor smoking bans as intrusive government.
¶ "It's a disgusting habit, but people have a right to make choices," Spokane resident Joel Bark told the local Parks Board during the public hearing.
¶ Patrick Reynolds of the Foundation for a Smokefree America acknowledged that moving the anti-smoking fight from indoors to outdoors was "cutting edge."
¶ "But these are in fact reasonable laws," Reynolds, grandson of tobacco pioneer R.J. Reynolds, said. "Second-hand smoke causes lung cancer."
¶ The bans also are aimed at reducing litter, he said.
¶ Smoking bans also have been imposed on spectators at pro golf tournaments. Last month, there was a no-smoking zone for the first time at the Masters. The U.S. Open in 2008 at Torrey Pines banned smoking by spectators because San Diego had banned smoking in its parks, beaches and public golf courses. But players were allowed to smoke.
¶ With little advance notice, the Spokane parks board voted in March to ban smoking in all city parks, including golf courses. An existing law already prevented people from smoking near playgrounds, swimming pools or other parks facilities, so the board didn't think many would care when it decided to ban smoking entirely, parks spokeswoman Nancy Goodspeed said.
¶ They were wrong.
¶ The outcry from smokers and libertarians was swift, and prompted the board in April to stay the ban on golf courses while it studies the issue further.
¶ "We heard from everyone and their brother, on both sides," Goodspeed said.
¶ The board will wait for people to calm down before taking up the issue of smoking on golf courses again, she said, adding that may be a year or more.
¶ Presley, who said he has smoked and played golf for five decades, hopes it never comes up again.
¶ "There's plenty of fresh air out there to share," Presley said. "Everyone pays taxes."

Hawaiian Shirts, the Story

2009-05-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

Here is a copy of a story that I wrote that moved this week on the national wires, explaining the importance of Hawaiian shirts:

SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) _ Spring is here, and that means the season has arrived for tropical print camp shirts, better known as Hawaiian shirts.
¶ After a harsh winter, a change of attire can spark a change of attitude.
¶ "The minute you put them on, you feel a little more relaxed," said Doug Wood, chief operating officer of Seattle-based Tommy Bahama, one of the nation's top sellers of upscale versions of Hawaiian shirts.
¶ Hawaiian shirts have been riding one of their periodic waves of popularity in recent years, thanks to the influence of surfer chic. Despite their humble 1930s origins and iconoclastic image, Hawaiian shirts are a serious business and subject of academic study. And they are popular everywhere, said Linda Arthur, a textile professor at Washington State University in Pullman who has written several books about Aloha shirts, the preferred name among aficionados.
¶ "The Aloha shirt has covered the globe," Arthur said.
¶ Aloha shirts were invented in the 1930s, when mom-and-pop tailors in Hawaii began making Western-style garments out of a common material, colorful Japanese kimono fabric. The shirts at first were sold to tourists, but eventually caught on with locals.
¶ Students at the prestigious Punahou School on Oahu, whose graduates include President Obama, started ordering such shirts to wear at school functions.
¶ The shirt industry grew during World War II, when products from the mainland were in short supply in Hawaii and people had to create their own fabrics and make their own clothes, Arthur said.
¶ This sparked the heyday of Hawaiian shirt genius Alfred Shaheen, who developed methods that allowed the shirts to explode with multiple colors and built his own fabric factory.
¶ Shaheen, who died last December at 86, is crediting with transforming the shirts from tacky souvenirs into works of art, and spurring mass production. Brightly colored rayon shirts made by Shaheen and others in the 1940s and 1950s, known as Silkies, have become collector's items, selling for thousands of dollars today.
¶ Manufacturers at that time tried to make Hawaiian shirts cut especially for ladies, but found that many women preferred wearing the men's cut. In that respect, the shirts were gender-bending, Arthur said.
¶ The Aloha shirt also played a role in one of the most popular workplace innovations, casual Fridays. The city of Honolulu decided in 1965 that it was OK for employees to wear Aloha shirts to city offices, laying the groundwork for a trend that later swept the nation.
¶ "Now the average man in Hawaii wears an Aloha shirt every day," Arthur said.
¶ Not everyone is a fan. Glenn O'Brien, style columnist for GQ magazine, believes Hawaiian shirts lost much of their artistry when they went mass market.
¶ "At best they are a `go to hell' item, like wild colored country club pants, that assert a man's token rebellion against conformity," O'Brien wrote in an e-mail. They are not appropriate outside of pool or beach parties, and for no office unless it "sells ukuleles or mai tais," he said.
¶ "I think they often represent a sort of desperation for leisure," O'Brien said. "I think of the doctors from `MASH' wearing them as they drink their martinis before the next load of wounded comes in."
¶ The shirts are loved or reviled from Moscow, Russia, to Moscow, Idaho. A recent heated debate on Russia.com involved why men wear "awful Hawaiian shirts."
¶ "They are incredibly ugly and make men look effeminate," complained a poster named Irinka.
¶ That prompted a person named Apache to post the famous Nick Nolte arrest photo, with the disheveled actor displaying wild hair and an impressive Hawaiian shirt. "You call THAT effeminate?" Apache asked.
¶ Hawaiian shirts loom large in popular culture. The movie "From Here to Eternity," set in Hawaii, featured stars like Montgomery Clift, Frank Sinatra and Ernest Borgnine wearing the shirts. Elvis Presley wore a Shaheen-designed red one for the cover of his 1961 album "Blue Hawaii."
¶ President Harry S. Truman was a noted Hawaiian shirtman. Al Pacino rocked one in "Scarface." The character of Cosmo Kramer from "Seinfeld" wore them.
¶ Homer Simpson perhaps distilled the essence of the shirts when he told Marge: "There's only two kinds of guys who wear Hawaiian shirts: gay guys and big, fat party animals."
¶ California surfers of the 1960s embraced the shirts at a time that saw more abstract designs and unusual styles, including a cropped Hawaiian shirt called a jack-shirt that fit like an Eisenhower jacket. The 1970s brought a focus on ethnic designs and patterns, and the '80s brought Tom Selleck in "Magnum, P.I."
¶ Selleck wore them so well that entrepreneur Greg Chambers was moved to start a mail order company called Mad Gringo.
¶ "Thomas Magnum is the male species at its most potent," Chambers said, even though Magnum took the radical step of tucking his shirts in _ a move not recommended today.
¶ Wearing Hawaiian shirts pays immediate dividends, said Chambers, who operates his company from Omaha, Neb., "the middle of the big island."
¶ "People are nicer to you. They speak slowly and tend to enunciate, and everyone says `Nice shirt!"' Chambers said. "It's the only article of clothing that men can compliment one another on and still sound macho."
¶ Chambers said he keeps 10 to 12 Hawaiian shirts in rotation at all times, and believes every man should own at least two.
¶ "If you own just one, people tend to say `there's Jim in the party shirt ... again,'" Chambers said. "And if you stretch beyond three, people start in on the `it's so sad to see someone give up like that. His poor wife!'"
¶ The nation's rising affluence in the 1990s sparked a demand for high-end Hawaiian shirts, often now called "Resort Wear." Many of those '60s surfers eventually ended up in the Silicon Valley, where their relaxed clothing style became the de facto work uniform of the dot-com revolution, Arthur said.
¶ That prompted a group of business people in Seattle to launch Tommy Bahama, a clothing company built on the image of a fictional Hawaiian shirtman living in a cabana house with no worries, but selling shirts for $100 or more.
¶ Whether wearing a Hawaiian shirt to work is acceptable depends on where one lives. On the West Coast, it's nothing special. In the buttoned down East Coast, it marks one as dressing outside the box, Wood said.
¶ Tommy Bahama got a boost when actor Bruce Campbell, of the hit TV show "Burn Notice," wore his personal collection of their shirts exclusively in his role as Sam.
¶ "I am a Tommy Bahama guy," Campbell told reporters recently. "Tommy Bahama, write that down, because we want a bunch of free shirts."
¶ Campbell got his wish. The company struck a deal to provide the show with clothes.
¶ Campbell aside, Hawaiian shirts may be heading into a period of decline, after a long period of rising sales, Wood said.
¶ "It seems to be a polo time," he said.
¶ One reason is that, try as they might, most men can only own so many Hawaiian shirts, he said. On the other hand, when a Hawaiian shirt design melds into a perfect blend of colors and patterns, all bets are off.
¶ "I don't care if the market is hot or not," Wood said. "I can't make enough of them. They blow out of stores."
¶ ^___=
¶ On the Web:
¶ History: http://www.alohafunwear.com/hawaiian-shirts-history.shtml
¶ Hawaiian shirt mail order: www.madgringo.com

Nice sentiment

2009-04-28T13:52:00.000-07:00

This Margaritaville sign on the roof of the sports bar across the street from my office is a nice thought. But with highs only in the 40s and cold rain pelting us this April 28, it just doesn't seem like Jimmy Buffett country up here in Spokane. It's more like Seattleville than Margaritaville.

Hawaiian Shirtman

2009-04-22T12:21:00.001-07:00

The man. The new shirt. The legend.

Tennis Studs

2009-04-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

You have your New York Yankees, your Boston Celtics, your Gonzaga Bulldogs. You also have your SAC-Geranios tennis team. Yes, the 3.0 boys from the Spokane Athletic Club have once again qualified for the playoffs in the Tri-Cities, something we have done every year but one since 1999.
Our 4-1 victory over Alf's North Park team last night provided the mortar that built our legacy to new heights. Here is the blow-by-blow:
Steve Lamberson waltzed to victory in No. 1 singles, despite a pre-match bout of low confidence that was unwarranted.
Chris ``Grinder'' Flanagan needed a third set tie-breaker to work his magic at No. 2 singles. Excellent work.
Mark Connelly and John Siok had some trouble at No. 1 doubles, and I'm not just talking about Mark's shirt. They fought valiantly in defeat, and we are still proud to call them brother.
Kevin O'Neill and Bruce Johnson treated their opponents in No. 2 doubles the way a puppy treats the floor. Really, gentlemen, you could have taken your feet off the gas pedal for just a moment, lest the tennis world think you are shorter, whiter and less buff Venus and Serena Williams hiding out in Spokane.
In No. 3 doubles, the father-son team of Nick Geranios and Sonny Boy (real name: Kon) needed a third set tie-breaker and lots of helpful tips from Dad to Sonny to beat their scrappy opponents. Afterwards, Sonny asked me never to talk to him again in that tone of voice. I ask you, did Nick Bolletieri hold his tongue when molding young Agassi? I think not.

Alas, despite going 4-1 on the year with one match left, many of us will not actually we able to appear in the Tri-Cities for the playoffs. for my part, i have to go to waterville, Maine to watch my daughter graduate from college that weekend.

We win again

2009-04-10T15:58:00.001-07:00

Team Geranios posted another victory last weekend, avenging our only league tennis loss to North Park-Palmer. As usual, Bruce and Nick shined in doubles, as did Mark and Dr. Sam. Kevin was a big singles winner. Steve took it to a tiebreaker before falling in singles. Jeff and Kon played hard in their doubles loss. We are 3-1 and a strong bet for the playoffs.

The End of the Dream

2009-03-30T09:02:00.001-07:00

After opening the Seniors tournament in the Tri-Cities with four consecutive victories, our team's dreams crashed to Earth on Sunday afternoon. We lost 2-1 to a team from the Tri-Cities, which dropped us into a tie with Wenatchee for first place. Because of a ridiculous tie-breaking procedure, Wenatchee (a team we beat) advances to the next round of the playoffs in Sun River, Oregon.

What a load of crap.

But it was a fun weekend of play for all of us. I am going to forsake my custom of awarding pink tennis skirts to the losers of key matches, because I would have to wear one. Lets just give a hearty well done to Captain Bruce, the two Kevins, Brad, Grover and Chris, plus lovable mascot Gus.

The photo shows (front row from left) Chris, Gus, Bruce and Kevin O'Neill. Back row Grover, Kevin Kavanaugh, Me, and Brad

Seniors tennis

2009-03-28T11:42:00.000-07:00

I'm playing in my first senior tennis tournament in the tri-cities this weekend. Seniors means people must be at least 50 to play. You may have heard I just topped that milestone.
Anyway, our team beat our first opponents 3-0, behind stunning performances by Kevin O'Neill and Bruce Johnson, myself and Mark (Grover Cleveland) Connelly, and Chris Flanagan and Brad Carr.

We are calling Mark ``Grover'' because he had grown out a thick beard, and then shaved clean the area around his chin, so he has these gigantic mutton chops that curl above his lick, and make him look like an 18th century guy.

We had out second match on Saturday morning, and this was a little tougher. Grover and I romped to victory, proving that it is better to be a young senior than an old one. But Bruce and Kevin needed a third set tiebreak and the grace of God to outlast their opponents. Our third doubles team, Kevin Kavanugh and Chris, tasted the foul flavor of defeat, partaking from the same nasty buffett table as the Zags did last night against North Carolina.

We play the feared Wenatchee guys at 6:30 tonight.

Prayer for the Zags

2009-03-19T07:14:00.000-07:00

Our Father, who art at Jack n' Dan's, please help thy Zags avoid yet another one-and-done appearance in the NCAA tournament. Allow them to shoot, rebound and pass on Akron, thus closing the zipper on the Zips' foreskins. May we witness a parade of stuffs, dunks and breakaways not seen since Memphis was in town. And while you're at it, Heavenly Father, please rain misfortune upon thy Washington Huskies, who so feareth the Zags that they prefer to play Texas Southern, Kentucky Eastern or Little Sistereth of the Poor instead. And continue smiling on the Idaho Vandals, who playeth in some tournament no one has ever heard of. And please console thy Washington State with a promise of another deep run in the NCAAs next year, but only if they follow the mandates of St. Tony of the Palouse.

Nickfest, the Movie

2009-03-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

Director Carey Williams captured these magical scenes from Nickfest

Tennis Match No. 2

2009-03-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

Team Geranios went into action for the second time this season on Sunday, one day after the epic blowout known as Nickfest. This time, the results were nerve-wracking, and not just from too much time spent in the company of Jose Cuervo.
Player Kon Geranios was having a little too much fun on his vacation and didn't make it back to Spokane in time for the match, so we had to forfeit the No. 2 singles position. That put us in the hole before we ever swung a racket.
Here's how the match played out against our long-time rivals, the Lismanis team from North Park:

No. 1 singles: Kevin O'Neill again had a huge game, winning in two sets despite a very busy and energetic previous night. Viva Viagra.

In No. 1 doubles, the pretty boy team of Bruce Johnson and Nick Geranios had to get mighty ugly after dropping the first set to a couple of players who were having trouble detecting when our balls landed directly on the white lines. After a series of questionable calls, Geranios diplomatically went looking for a club pro to monitor the match and improve everyone's vision. The stalwart lads won the second set 7-5 to tie it up. We prevailed in the tense third set tiebreaker, making it interesting when Bruce double faulted on match point.

No. 2 doubles: Alas, we need a couple of skirts to outfit the team of Chris Flanagan and Steve Lamberson, who were shot down by their opponents. Remember to get matching skirts boys, and add those little ruffled tennis panties to give the crowd a thrill.

In No. 3 doubles, thespian John Siok showed no ill effects from his extended run in the cast of Ham on Regal. With partner Ken Hunt, the biker boys toughed out a tight two-set victory.

That gave our team a 3-2 match win, a solid foundation for making the playoffs.

A Chronicle of Nickfest

2009-03-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

And so Nickfest officially ended on Saturday evening with a big old bash at my house. The year-llong celebration leading to my 50th birthday had a memorable finale, to make up for what I considered somewhat tepid enthusiasm for the 12 months of pre-functions. The party had a Caribbean theme, reflecting my love of Jimmy Buffett. But we mixed things up a bit by demanding Hawaiian shirts and leis of the participants.

Here is a pix of me cuttin' the rug with Mariel and Heather, while the lead singer of P.F. Flyer unleashes some classic rock.

Rather than spend a lot of time crafting a well-written report, I'm going to take the old journalistic trick of just writing a list.

1, Best Hawaiian shirt awards, as selected by me, went to Carmen Yount for women and Jeff Gillespie for men. I salute you, and may the dung of a thousand parrots descend on those who wore regular clothes.

2, Band members Jeff Gravelle and Darren Young, along with the other musicians whose names I do not remember, should consider quitting their day jobs and go on the road full-time. The set list was awesome, starting with ``Play That Funky Music'' and ending with ``Shook Me All Night Long.'' One criticism: ``Super Freak'' should be played every night.

3, Thanks to those who ignored my wife's unfortunate note on the invitation that there be no presents. To Aaron, Charlie and Mark, your thoughtful gifts of cigars will be savored in coming weeks. Special thanks to Charlie, who arranged his five cigars in an ascending order of length, representing the decades of my life. The smallest cigar represented years 1-10, the slightly longer cigar covered years 10-20, etc. My only criticism with this poetic gesture is that the cigar representing the current period is not long enough.

4, Carey's gift of framed Buffett album covers was huge; thanks to the DeWalts for the big poster of the smokin' hot bikini babe that I immediately mistook for a picture of Ann; and the many bottles of fine libations will not be wasted. The used golf club from Bruce will be remarked upon no more.

5, Apologies to all for abandoning the bar I had set up in the party room so I could dance. I was a pretty crappy bartender, anyway, as I think the margaritas were too weak, judging by the lack of vomiting.

6, Thanks to all who brought that great food, especially Brian Buck for pulled pork and Korean beef lettuce wraps. Ann deserves special celebration for cooking up hot wings, meatballs, mango salsa, and other foods, making the drink menu, hiring the band, setting up the party room, cleaning the house and making sure everyone had a good time. She made it all look easy, so easy in fact that I see no reason why it can't be an annual event. Here's looking forward to Nickfest 51 next March.

Another USTA season begins

2009-03-08T20:07:00.000-07:00

The U.S. Tennis Association season began for my team on Saturday, and the results were impressive. Here is the rundown:
In No. 1 singles, Kevin ``Mustang Sally'' O'Neill gutted out a third set tiebreak win, showing the intestinal fortitude that later allowed him to digest dinner at Rancho Viejo. Kudos to Kevin, except for the second set.
In No. 2 singles , Chris Flanagan romped to a straight-set victory, proving that being a high school girls tennis coach does not necessarily mean the end of your athletic career. Chris' match was over so quickly that he could have consumed a six-pack watching the rest of us, EXCEPT THE CLUB STOPPED SERVING AT 7 P.M.!
In No. 1 doubles, Mark Connelly and Sam Joseph had some tense moments at the end, and not just because Mark was wearing an electric lime green Toucan Sam shirt. Congrats to them, and as for their opponents, Brad, we know you'll club them in the Tri-Cities.
In No. 2 doubles, the pretty boy team of myself and Bruce Johnson proved that, unlike Anna Kournikova, we've got sex appeal and game. Bruce also showed courage when he won his final service game despite pulling a muscle in his forearm (the monkus spankius muscle, which can take years to heal). Lets give it a rest before next weekend.
In No. 3 doubles, Ken Hunt took the court despite three broken ribs from skiing into a tree. He and Jeff Johnson almost pulled off a win before dropping the third set tie-break. For posting our only loss, they will both have to wear skirts to our next match on Sunday. Remember to accessorize, gentlemen.
Finally, I've received some complaints about our team rules during the season. It seems that some of the players are refusing to give up smoking, drinking, gambling and sex until the end of May. You know who you are, and you should be ashamed of yourselves.
However, like President Obama, I want to bring the audacity of hope to our team. So screw the rules and do what you want. It's working so far.

We've lost the R Bar

2009-03-05T12:52:00.000-08:00

Tragic news this morning out of Bozeman, Mont. The landmark Rocking R Bar downtown was among numerous businesses destroyed in an explosion. The Rocking R is well-known to many people in this region, and was a frequent haunt of Montana State students such as myself. The cause of the explosion was not immediately known, but I suspect terrorists from the University of Montana.
Authorities say the explosion destroyed four businesses, of which only three were bars. For that we can be thankful.

Many of you may have seen, or even own, a Rocking R baseball cap. They are very popular. My suggestion would be to put it on tonight, open a cold one, and tip it back in honor of the R Bar.

I went to the bar's web site at http://rockingrbar.com/ but there was no information about the explosion. But I did see that this would have been $2 margarita night, which only makes the disaster worse.

FYI, the bar contained a branch of Bozeman's famous Pickle Barrel sandwich chain. So the loss is even greater than previously imagined.

Maybe the owners could throw up a big canvas tent, like in pioneer days, and open atop the rubble. It's a thought.

The Looming Apocalypse

2009-02-26T08:24:00.000-08:00

Those who have driven the lonely border region between Montana and Idaho on Interstate 90 know that the 10,000 Silver $ roadhouse has long been an oasis for bad food, crummy souvenirs and stingy video poker machines. In other words, it is a holy place.

Imagine my shock last week when I was driving towards Missoula and started seeing billboards for something called the 50,000 Silver $. Shock turned to horror as I approached the roadhouse and saw that it's familiar sign had indeed gone up 40,000 additional silver dollars.

I went inside to demand an explanation.

I stopped first in the bar, where I emptied some quarters I had coincidentally brought along into a poker machine and commenced to lose them. A young Asian woman was playing the machine next to me, and kept asking for help in deciphering the graphics to determine which cards to hold and which to discard. While she was having some trouble reading English, she was having no trouble with poker strategy and kept piling up points.

When I was out of money, I walked over to the bartender and learned that the name change reflected that many more people had donated silver dollars, which were mounted and displayed up the walls of the high-ceilinged bar. She told me the place originally started as the 2,000 Silver $, and the 10,000 name had remained for decades despite being inaccurate.

Now you know.

Daily Grind

2009-02-24T19:37:00.000-08:00

Some people think covering college sports is a bunch of fun. But as these photos show, it is more akin to working in a mine. Here are pictures of me pounding away on deadline at recent Gonzaga games. One photo also shows my trusty sidekick Carey, who is keeping an eye on the action so we don't miss a key play. If the game is boring, he's mostly on the lookout for MILFs. After each game Carey goes down and talks to the losing team and I talk with the Zags.

The other photo shows me reading through my copy while Gonzaga alum John Stockton keeps people from approaching me. Stockton blew most of his NBA salary and now works as a security guard at Gonzaga games. He also makes coffee runs for us. (I hope people realize I am just kidding. Stockton is waiting to go to his seat).

Anyway, the deadline pressure is huge and the opportunities to screw up are many. But I am up to the challenge, and someday Carey will be also.

Nailing Nickfest

2009-02-19T09:11:00.000-08:00

It looks like Nickfest will be the afternoon of March 14, with a Jimmy Buffett theme! More details will be sent soon. I invite faithful readers of this blog, both of you, to also visit my facebook page as that is where the most timely information is getting posted these days. There is only so much time in the day that I can spend talking about myself, and facebook seems to be getting most of it.

The photo shows an actual Parrot Head from Jimmy's concert in Las Vegas last October, and is suggested Nickfest apparel for the ladies.

Nickfest Update

2009-02-01T13:06:00.000-08:00

Nickfest is rapidly approaching. I turn 50 on March 9, and the extended carnival that will accompany this historic event is in the process of taking shape.
Sadly, the worldwide economic woes will no doubt take a chunk out of Nickfest.
There are unlikely to be helicopters, roulette tables or a personal appearance by Jimmy Buffett.
But the party must go on!
In the spirit of our austere times, it may end up being beer, a homemade cake and cigars. But dancing is free!
There are some potential downers on the horizon. The Cougs are floundering, and may not make the NCAA tournament. My sore back is endangering the upcoming USTA team tennis season. And I have to cover an execution in Walla Walla on March 13 (a Friday!). Nothing gives you an appreciation of life quite like watching the state end someone else's.
To my friends I say, keep the 9th open. details will follow.

High in the 70s

2009-01-17T16:07:00.000-08:00

On my drive to work today, I saw billboards advertising upcoming shows in Spokane by Cheech and Chong, and Blondie. Maybe I'll survive this winter after all.

The January of our Discontent

2009-01-16T11:00:00.000-08:00

It's Jan. 16 and the record-breaking snow that has turned us into a city of trolls is now frozen solid to the ground and getting dirtier by the day. On the other hand, both the Zags and the Cougs are winning. One photo shows the fog that has enveloped Spokane and made driving even more interesting on the icy streets. The other shows my driveway, where one could skate to the street even though I've been smashing the ice like a Coast Guard icebreaker for weeks

Another pile

2009-01-02T11:14:00.001-08:00

Another major snowstorm hit spokane early this morning and we're digging out again. The pictures show the view from my front door, and also the pile on my roof. There is also a photo of Miranda's dog Cappy, who refused to go out in the snow so I could get a snow bunny picture of her.

Lowlights of 2008

2008-12-31T08:25:00.000-08:00

¶ Every year at this time I compile the Lowlights of 2008, a list of the staggeringly stupid things that people in our state do. Here is the latest. Also, the photo is not one of the Lowlights. I just needed something to break up all the words.
¶
¶ By Nicholas K. Geranios
¶ Associated Press Writer
¶ SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) _ When Shakespeare wrote "what fools these mortals be," he obviously wasn't thinking about residents of Washington state. But fools we often be.
¶ The Lowlights of 2008 include college football, election mudslinging and a song about a sinister Santa.
¶ Below is a survey of some of the lowest acts of the year in the Evergreen State. As usual, this is only a random sample, as it would be impossible to chronicle all the stupid and heinous acts that occur in the state each year.
¶ BAD SANTA: An already bizarre battle over which holiday displays would be allowed at the state capitol veered into a true lowlight when the gay-hating Westboro Baptist Church entered the fray. The group wrote a charming holiday ditty called "Santa Claus Will Take You To Hell," which claimed the jolly old elf was a false idol who brought child sexual abuse, economic disaster and eternal damnation. The group demanded the song be placed next to existing decorations that included an atheist message, prompting the state to ban all requests for additional displays.
¶ HUSKY BAILOUT: In the midst of a massive budget shortfall, University of Washington boosters pushed for taxpayers to contribute $150 million toward a $300 million overhaul of Husky Stadium, which is in even worse shape than the football team. When some Washington State fans objected at a hearing, UW uber-booster Ron Crockett called them "fools," proving that losing the Apple Cup went pretty deep with some people.
¶ STICK A FORKS IN IT: The Olympic Peninsula town of Forks, best known for a stupefying amount of rainfall each year, is enjoying a tourist boom thanks to the "Twilight" books and movie. "Twilight" is about hot-looking teenage vampires who live in Forks, and fans have been visiting the community to revel in the setting. Marcia Bingham of the Forks Chamber of Commerce said the town's rain and gloom are just perfect for this crowd. "We all know vampires can't be out if it's bright."
¶ MONORAIL BLUES: When the aging Seattle monorail broke down in mid-December, the 15 stranded passengers included an 86-year-old man who said he was a monorail driver back when it was first built for the 1962 World's Fair.
¶ OUCH: In March, the state paid $15,000 to a Kelso man who was forcibly catheterized after an arrest for investigation of drunken driving. Matthew Clifford Arthur had refused to provide urine and blood samples after a traffic stop, so officers got them the hard way.
¶ BLOWING COOKIES: In September, a man who ate moldy cookies in the King County Jail sued the county for pain, suffering and emotional distress. Moses Wiggins, 41, says he didn't notice the mold until he had eaten half the bag, and that it caused vomiting, diarrhea and stomach cramps.
¶ BADA BING!: In the hotly contested governor's race, supporters of Republican Dino Rossi put up billboards in Eastern Washington exhorting residents not to let Seattle "steal" this election, implying that's what happened in the 2004 race when Christine Gregoire won. Meanwhile, the state Democratic Party was forced to change an ad that showed Rossi, accompanied by the theme song from "The Sopranos," a television show about homicidal mobsters.
¶ WHO'S THE IDIOT?: In October, a Seattle man was accused of a hate crime for allegedly threatening his neighbor's autistic son. Mark J. Levison was arrested after yelling that he, "did not want to see that idiot staring at my house." Levison was already under a court order to stay away from the family after he threatened to burn down their house in July if they didn't keep the 13-year-old boy out of his sight.
¶ THE YAKIMA OF CALIFORNIA: For two decades, a sign proclaiming, "Welcome to Yakima: The Palm Springs of Washington" greeted motorists on Interstate 82 in the city. The sign came down for about a year because of construction, but was put up again in February. "I've heard people say, 'Who was the idiot who put that up?' but that doesn't bother me," sign owner Gary Lukehart said.
¶ THIRD DEGREE: In December, the Washington State Patrol said nine troopers allegedly bought fake college degrees from a Spokane diploma mill to boost their pay. The Thurston County prosecutor will decide if the troopers, on paid leave, will face charges. Troopers get a 4 percent raise for a four-year degree and 2 percent more for a master's.
¶ HOMELAND INSECURITY: A federal building security guard in Spokane who used high-tech cameras to watch women undress in nearby buildings pleaded guilty to felony voyeurism. Darin Earl Wanless used rooftop camera equipment in the post office to ogle women on two dozen occasions. He was fired and must register as a sex offender for the next decade.< ^___= ^SPECIAL SPORTS LOWLIGHTS= ¶ COLLEGE FOOTBALL: The University of Washington was the only winless team in the country, going 0-12 and firing its coach. Washington State went 2-11 and gave up more points than any team in college football history. Both were national laughingstocks. The Huskies hired a new coach, Steve Sarkisian, who shares the same last name as Cher. That raises the possibility of a "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" slogan for UW next season. ¶ SUBSONIC: The Seattle SuperSonics of the NBA were stolen away to Oklahoma City, where they sank to new lows of basketball futility. ¶ SEAHAWKS: The Seattle Seahawks made some fans wish they'd move to Oklahoma City. ¶ MARINERS: The Seattle Mariners last season became the first team with a $100 million payroll to lose 100 games in a season. ¶

One more movie

2008-12-31T08:23:00.001-08:00

Just watched ``The Foot Fist Way'' last night and it was the most cringe-inducing indictment of the typical American doofus that I have ever seen. The main character's stunning vapidity and lack of self-awareness was heart-breaking and hilarious. I highly recommend.

Thank God for movies

2008-12-30T07:09:00.000-08:00

Spokane has received a record of more than 59 inches of snow in December (that's nearly 5 feet in the metric system). A more adventuresome type (like Ann) might have taken the opportunity to go sledding, skiing or snowshoeing. Instead, I've been plowing through a backlog of cigars and movies.
Here are capsule reviews of the movies that have kept me entertained this month, both in theaters and on video:
1, Milk: went to the theater with Miranda to see this movie. I really liked it and was moved by the struggle for gay rights in the 1970s. I could have stood for a little less kissing among the men, and Miranda warned that if I did not stop groaning each time Sean Penn put a lip lock on someone she was moving to another seat.
2, You Don't Mess with the Zohan: fairly watchable Adam Sandler comedy, especially when he catches a fish in his rectum.
3, Four Christmases: Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon. What's not to like? Love the extreme fighter brothers.
4, Fred Claus: Despite Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti, this one took me two nights to get through, as I fell asleep on night one.
5, Bucket List: I intended to absolutely hate this feel-good affirmation of life and friendship, but found it surprisingly palatable. Is there anything Nicholson and Freeman can't do?
6, The Women: Very easy on the eyes, especially Eva Mendes. I thought the male-bashing could have been toned down a bit, but I always think that.
7, Quantam of Solace: I still haven't seen it. What is Christmas without a homicidal superspy saving the world?
8, The Dark Knight: Really liked it, especially the Joker, but it was too long. And the Harvey Dent stuff at the end seemed really tacked on.
9, The Cable Guy: I had never actually seen this all the way through, so when it showed up on HBO I watched and was stunned by the brilliance. I want to go to Medieval Times and have a serving wench.

Jimmy Buffett story

2008-12-29T15:45:00.000-08:00

I've been working for months on a story about singer Jimmy Buffett. I'm a big fan. The story finally moved to the national wires on Monday. Here it is for those dont see it elsewhere

¶ By NICHOLAS K. GERANIOS
¶ Associated Press Writer
¶ LAS VEGAS (AP) _ It's like the world's biggest beach party, hosted by the world's richest beach bum.
¶ The 15,000 fans packing the sold-out MGM Grand arena were enjoying the final concert of the season by Jimmy Buffett, the singer whose popularity and fortune grow greater even as his hair grows grayer.
¶ Buffett, who turned 62 on Christmas Day, long ago became an icon of certain baby boomers _ perhaps the least-hip demographic in the country _ by offering the dream of throwing off their responsibilities for his tropical party vibe.
¶ But in the past decade, this chronicler of Margaritaville has really cashed in on his image.
¶ How big is Buffett?
¶ With an estimated annual income of more than $40 million, you might mistake his portfolio for that of Warren Buffett (not a relative). And he's done it by sailing beyond most musicians' ticket, T-shirt and poster revenue stream.
¶ The title of his most popular song is showing up on restaurants, clothing, booze and casinos. Among the products he's involved with are Landshark Lager, the Margaritaville and Cheeseburger in Paradise restaurant chains, clothing and footwear, household items and drink blenders. The Margaritaville cafe on the Las Vegas strip is said to be the top grossing restaurant in the nation.
¶ Buffett writes best-selling novels. There's Radio Margaritaville on Sirius. Even his recording career is booming as the music industry tanks: His recent album, "License to Chill," was the first No. 1 album of his career.
¶ In October, Buffett was chosen by Vanity Fair as No. 97 on a list of the 100 most influential people. In the world. He's nestled between Universal Music Group CEO Doug Morris and anti-poverty crusader Jeffrey Sachs.
¶ But the exact scope of the Parrot Head empire is secret. Buffett's privately held Margaritaville Holdings LLC does not publicly disclose its finances, and his publicists declined numerous requests for interviews with the singer or anyone connected with Miami-based Margaritaville Holdings.
¶ "He wants to be known as an artist and musician, but he's an extremely savvy businessman," said Brian Hiatt, an associate editor for Rolling Stone who covers the concert industry.
¶ Buffett is somewhat unique among aging crooners in that his fan base is broad, and is not tied solely to a string of past hit songs. For most of his career, Buffett had only one Billboard Top 10 hit, "Margaritaville," in 1977.
¶ What he offers his fans is an accessible fantasy.
¶ "Anyone of any age could imagine retiring to a tropical paradise and drinking margaritas," Haitt said. "There is something extra-musical about the whole thing."
¶ You don't have to go to a concert to buy his stuff. Margaritaville boat shoes and flip flops are found in shopping malls. Margaritaville Foods sells salsa, hummus, tortillas and dips in Wal-Mart and other stores. Landshark is sold in grocery stores, and Margaritaville tequila is in liquor stores.
¶ And concert tickets sell out in short order, despite prices that run well over $100. The Buffett brand is on a growth spurt, usually as a result of marketing deals.
¶ The Cheeseburger in Paradise chain was founded in 2002 and owned by OSI Restaurant Partners, owners of Outback Steakhouse, among others, under a license from Buffett. Landshark Lager, made by Anheuser-Busch, and Margaritaville Tequila, made by Seagram, are sponsors of his concerts.
¶ Last May, the Trump Marina Hotel Casino in Atlantic City was purchased by Coastal Marina, LLC, which will convert it into a destination resort under the "Margaritaville" label.
¶ "Jimmy Buffett and his team at Margaritaville have created an extraordinary brand that is instantly recognizable to an enormously large and dedicated fan base," said Richard Fields, CEO of Coastal Development. "The brand implies quality, value and good times."
¶ Meanwhile, Harrah's Entertainment, Inc., has teamed up with Buffett to develop the $700 million Margaritaville Casino & Resort in Biloxi, Miss., near where Buffett was raised. That project has been delayed by the downturn in the nation's economy. But Harrah's and Buffett already have a profitable relationship.
¶ According to Buffett's Web site, the first Margaritaville opened in Key West, Fla., in 1987. The chain has since grown to 16 outlets, including a new one at the Mohegan Sun casino in Connecticut.
¶ Margaritaville at the Flamingo Las Vegas takes in more than $43 million a year, said casino president Don Marrandino.
¶ "It's been pretty consistent for five years," Marrandino said. "It speaks to the Buffett lifestyle."
¶ ___
¶ On the Net:
¶ http://www.margaritaville.com/
¶

Heeeeeeeere's Nicky!

2008-12-27T06:46:00.000-08:00

Remember that scene at the end of Million Dollar Baby where the manager suffocates the paralyzed boxer because the boxer does not want to live as a quadriplegic? It's getting to the point where that sounds pretty good as we are going on a week of being housebound by a record snowstorm in Spokane. ``Please, Boss, do it now, and then have Morgan Freeman narrate a nice elegy for me.''

We are not exactly trapped in the house, but the streets are so miserable that mail and newspapers are not being delivered, and it's nerve-wracking to go anywhere.

The holidays have been a decidedly low-key affair in what I am calling a George Bush Christmas (it's similar to a Charles Dickens Christmas, except the rich do even better and don't have any pesky ghosts trying to change their ways). I was actually pleased to get some new socks and underwear.

Everyone has been very accepting of the hard economic times except my 14-year-old, Tom, who is upset because he did not get a ``pimp cane'' to keep ``his 'ho's in line.'' This is apparently a cane that has a secret compartment for a knife or something. We made like the Shackleton expedition and got out to the Valley Mall yesterday to return some clothes that didn't fit, and Tom wanted to wander from store to store asking for a pimp cane. I considered allowing this in Macy's and JC Penney's, but was worried he might actually find one at Spencer's so I said no. Can't have sharp pointy weapons in the house at Christmas.

Last night, I watched ``Hamlet 2,'' since there is little else to do but watch the tube. I found it very funny, especially the ``Rock Me Sexy Jesus'' part and any scene involving the drama teacher's wife. I highly recommend this movie, although if it were up to me it would have been called ``Hamlet 2, More Death!'' or ``Hamlet 2, Dane to Watch It!"" or ``Hamlet 2, Hamlet Harder.''

I was so stir-crazy yesterday that I actually went to the gym with Miranda and Tom to work out. For me, this involves riding an exercise bike at the lowest setting while watching CNN on the bike's TV. Then I sit on one of those huge exercise balls while reading the newspaper (this is great for your core). Miranda and Tom made fun of me.

The photo shows Ice Station Spokane, aka the scene on the side of my house, where giant icicles have formed entire new rooms.

snow at night

2008-12-26T09:18:00.000-08:00

here is a view of my house in the snow at night

Fortress of Solitude

2008-12-26T09:07:00.000-08:00

Greetings from the Frozen North, where there is so much snow and ice on the ground that we have been barely able to move for the past week. Spokane has already set a record snowfall for December, with more coming. The ice is growing so thick off my roof that it actually formed a room on the side of the house. Here are Tom and Eli playing in front of the ice after I managed to knock off some of the thinner pieces.

Beth's new book

2008-12-19T13:59:00.000-08:00

My friend Beth Harpaz, an AP writer in New York, has a new book out all about the
horrors of raising adolescents (you know who u are). Here's a link to a website for her book, which includes some research findings on uber-adolescents Tom and Eli.

http://13isthenew18.com/

Got Greeks?

2008-12-19T13:38:00.000-08:00

The Census Bureau put out new estimates about the U.S. population recently, and the number of people of Greek ancestry remains catastrophically low.

In Washington state, there are only 26,022 Greeks among a population of more than 6 million people! How pathetic is this? Consider that there are 76,000 Danes, 251,865 French and 405,942 Norwegians. But the biggest ethnic group is Germans, totaling 1.3 million. Idaho should be nervous.

Nationally, the situation is just as dismal. There are only 1.3 million Americans of Greek ancestry. Now I know what The 300 felt like.

The photo shows me in Greek revolutionary military garb during a Greek Independence Day ceremony at our church in Montana in the 1960s. Formidable, don't you think?

More snow

2008-12-19T10:47:00.001-08:00

Spent this morning digging a Suburban out of the barrow pit it had slid into near my house last night. The Suburban was driven by a friend of my daughter. It was tilted at a ridiculous 45 degree angle, but some people with chains stopped and we were able to get it out.
Then I drove through the snow to work. Went for a coffee at Nordstrom, where I discovered the giant sized version is called an Enorme. This is a fabulous name, and I'm thinking of introducing myself as Enorme, Norm for short.

Snowday

2008-12-18T09:46:00.001-08:00

The spokane area was pummeled by 20 inches of snow in the past 24 hours, and everyone is trapped at home. Here are some pictures of the snow outside my house

Washingfornication

2008-12-02T11:53:00.001-08:00

I've been watching the Showtime series ``Californication,'' on DVD recently, and decided it is primarily intended to reinforce conservatives' stereotypes about California (drugs, sex, permissiveness). However, the show has produced a great new band name: ``The Irritating Smugness of David Duchovny.'' As usual, if you use this name, you owe me money. At right, Duchovny reads a script.

p.s. Vomit update. The stomach flu has ``passed'' completely, so to speak, and our family is back to normal.

Vomitorium Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T14:21:00.000-08:00

We had Ann's mom and oldest brother and his two sons over for Thanksgiving yesterday. Unbeknownst to us, we were also harboring a nasty strain of stomach flu.

Shortly after we finished dinner, I had to retire to the bedroom because I felt terrible. even watching the Zags crush Oklahoma State on television didnt perk me up.

Later that night, Eli blew chunks all over the upstairs bathroom, which necessitated a major haz mat cleanup. A few hours after that, I rushed to the bathroom and threw up my entire undigested Thanksgiving dinner. Actually, it looked interesting floating in the toilet, the brown of the meat and gravy infused with red diamonds from the cranberry sauce. I cleaned up after myself and went back to bed.

Ann was next, about 4 a.m.

At breakfast, our guests said they were heading back to Butte ASAP. I dont blame them.

tennis star

2008-11-28T14:18:00.000-08:00

Another tennis tournament, another trophy for me. My partner Joy and I won the the 3.0 mixed doubles portion of a tournament at our club last week. There actually isn't a trophy. The prize is a jacket with a champion monogram on it. I plan to wear it everywhere for the next year.

My son Tom, who is 14, played doubles with me at the 3.5 level, which is a little above my ability, and we lost two matches to be eliminated. Tom knows it was my fault.

Survive the Crapple Cup

2008-11-18T12:59:00.001-08:00

The Crapple Cup is going to be so execrable this Saturday that only a true diehard would watch. Here's some suggestions on how to better spend your time:

1, Dress your spouse in a tight purple halter and a short crimson skirt and spend the afternoon penalizing her for illegal use of hands.
2, Seek a quantum of solace by attending new James Bond film "Quantum of Solace."
3, Replay tape of WSU's Sept. 20 win over Portland State, the only victory either team has this season.
4, Celebrate WSU basketball team's expected win over Sacramento State so heartily on Friday night that you sleep well into Saturday afternoon.
5, Attend a sing-along showing of "Mamma Mia!" at your local cineplex with your wife and three of her girlfriends, and never worry about football again.
6, Send a letter to President-elect Obama demanding that some of that "change" and "audacity of hope" he promised be spread on the gridirons of the Northwest ASAP.
7, Get a copy of the official report of the testosterone-laden altercation between former WSU Provost Steve Hoch and another administrator that cost Hoch his job. Then wonder why Hoch isn't playing for the Cougs.

At Garland Street Geranios Did Surrender

2008-11-14T08:17:00.001-08:00

My manhood received a tough test last night and I passed with flying colors: I attended a sing-along version of ``Mamma Mia'' with four women (plus Steve) and walked out with all my testosterone intact.

Long-time readers of this blog know that I am a big fan of Abba (an Abban?) and I have been dying to see ``Mamma Mia.'' The Garland Theater in Spokane is one of those $3 second-run movie houses, and they have been playing a version of the movie that includes the lyrics of the songs printed on the bottom of the screen.

This was all great fun, especially as we smuggled rum in and mixed it with Cokes to enhance our singing.

No everyone is comfortable letting their softer side show. When Bill at work found out where I was going, he suggested I stand up before the movie and demand that all ``the real men'' in the audience follow me across the street to a bar. Bill obviously has deeper issues than Benny-and-Bjorn-phobia.

Ann had an excellent time with her friends Min, Cathy and (uber-cook) Marcy. Afterwards we went to dinner at the appropriately named Mamma Mia restaurant.

The photo at right shows me in a manlier moment from last summer.

A Fistful of Nicks

2008-11-10T16:23:00.001-08:00

I was cleaning out some files recently and came upon some pictures that were taken for an article the Yakima Herald wrote about me when I worked in that city for AP. I decided to mount these pix in a frame and hang it in my office, part of a general shrine to myself that I maintain.

You might notice I looked younger and a little more put together 17 years ago. I even wore a tie to work!

I definitely was a bit smarter. Here's an example: Ann and I were out to dinner with some friends on Sunday night. When the waitress was bringing us our wine, the bottle started to tip over on the tray. With reflexes honed by years of tennis playing, I managed to grab the bottle and save it, to the cheers of the crowd.

Being a funny guy, I joked to the waitress that I hoped she didn't think I was trying to cop a feel when I reached for the tottering bottle.

That stopped all conversation, and I spent the rest of the evening staring down at the table top in shame every time the waitress came back.

The old Nick would have never made such a blunder.

My first grandchild

2008-11-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

Even though I am only 49, Miranda presented me with my first grandchild when she bought this little dog recently. She named him Cappy. Ann, who has never had a dog, has renamed him Crappy.

Miranda says Cappy is not a ``little purse dog,'' but I think the evidence of this photo shows that's exactly what he is. She is flying home from Maine for Christmas, and Cappy will sit on her lap, additional proof that this dog would be at home on ``Sex In the City.''

The boys are very excited to meet Cappy, as they have never had a dog.

Come on Eileen!

2008-11-05T08:16:00.000-08:00

Last night was a historic election for more than one reason. Ann's younger sister Eileen was elected prosecutor of Butte-Silver Bow County in Montana. Congratulations, Eileen, and here's hoping you throw many a scumbag in jail.

Eileen is a single mom with four fine children and we are all proud of her. But not too proud to publish this photo from this summer's Joyce family reunion on Deer Lake.

Where are the Chippendales?

2008-11-04T17:34:00.000-08:00

Ann had her election buddies Albuquerque Kathy and
Kansas City Peg over to the house recently. They cooked a
spectacular meal and pounded some Three Buck Chuck.
They have strong opinions about many things, and I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut.

Zion or Bust

2008-11-04T17:28:00.000-08:00

My recent trip to see Jimmy Buffett in Las Vegas was not all spent in casinos.

Earlier in the trip, my brothers Jim and George and i took our mother to Zion National Park near St. George, Utah. Mom lives with Jim (left) in St. George, which is a lovely place to visit.

Zion is small but has spectacular scenery, and would be a blast to hike through on another visit.

I see dead football teams

2008-11-03T10:09:00.000-08:00

One of my jobs is to cover the Washington State football team, which is in the midst of the worst season in program history. So I've covered games where WSU lost by 66-3, 63-14 and 69-0. I've also watched on TV as they lost 66-13, 45-17 and 39-13.

The season doesn't get any easier. This weekend Arizona is coming to town and the outcome is not likely to be pretty. The following weekend I get to cover No. 9 Boise State vs. woeful Idaho. Then it's winless Washington at Washington State in the Puke Cup.

Fortunately, I also get to watch my son Tom (No. 46) play for Ferris High

Halloween

2008-10-31T08:58:00.000-07:00

A few people got into the spirit of Halloween at the office today. In this pix we have Puff the Communist Dragon (Carey); unredeemed Jimmy Buffet fan Parrot Head (yours truly); and nun-in-training Fifi (Marial). Most of the others are too busy preparing for the Nov. 4 election to waste time with costumes

Report from Vegas

2008-10-27T19:21:00.000-07:00

I spent last weekend in Las Vegas with my two brothers for a boys weekend that celebrated Jim's 47th birthday, the midway point to my 50th birthday, George's escape from a houseful of sick daughters, and, of course, MY FIRST JIMMY BUFFETT CONCERT IN 15 YEARS!

Huge it was. Here is the report.

After spending a few days visiting with Mom in St. George, Utah, we arrived in Vegas shortly before noon on Saturday. By previous arrangement, we headed first to Fremont Street, in dumpy old downtown Vegas, in search of cheap gaming tables. The photo shows Jim (black shirt with words) and George (silent black shirt) upon our arrival.

We walked through venerable casinos like the Golden Nugget, Binion's and Fitz's, and found exactly what we were looking for: $3 blackjack tables. Despite the fact that the tables had cigarette burns in the fabric _ and most of the other players looked like the casino might be their only home _ we had a blast. We settled into a table at Fitz' and played for quite a while before losing our stakes.

From there it was up to the Nugget for a modest lunch. We ate light (I had a chef salad, a meal I first enjoyed in the deli at Buttrey Foods more than 3 decades ago) to maintain our energy for what would be a long day. We passed through Binion's for a bit of slot machine losing. Then came a key decision point.

We had originally planned to go to the Strip, check into the Tropicana and lounge poolside for a bit to soak up some rays and gaze at silicone. But Jim and George were lured to the roulette table as we passed through Fitz's again and there we stayed. I had never played before, but put $20 down and ran into a mountain of beginner's luck. Soon I had towers of lime green chips in front of me. Then I started losing, which got me to looking a my watch. 5 p.m., and we were no where near the Strip! We hustled out of there, battled heavy traffic down Las Vegas Blvd, and finally got to the Tropicana about 6.

As we rushed toward the front door, we were stopped in our tracks by a couple of Folies Bergere dancers who were handing out discount coupons to the show. They were at least 6-foot-4, with towering heels and even taller head feathers, but little clothing. George thought they might be creatures from another planet.

We got a room on the top floor, with a stunning view, but had little time to enjoy it as we had to clean up and get into our carefully selected concert ensembles. George, as expected, went with a light colored suit and striped shirt. I did a basic black, topped by the Vegas Jacket. Jim, who is a country-western musician and thus has no sense of fashion, wore jeans and a jacket.

All of us were wrongly dressed.

It turned out that the vast majority of the crowd at a Jimmy Buffett concert dresses in grass skirts, hats with fruit on it, Hawaiian shirts and the like. What losers.

I of course was in the Vegas Jacket, which never fails to draw stares and comments from pimps, priests and everything in between. The best occurred while I was in the bathroom at the MGM Grand, where a young fellow told me that he flew jets for the military, but nothing in his life was cooler than my Jacket. I had to agree. George and Jim like to walk behind me through crowds so they can enjoy the amazed looks from passersby.

The MGM Grand was overwhelmed with Parrotheads, many enjoying the $6 margarita specials. The bar we went into was so packed that we couldn't get any attention from the bartender. So I caught the eye of a waitress (the magic of the Jacket again) and quickly ordered three margaritas as we grabbed an empty table. We guzzled them down and then joined a river of Parrotheads heading to the MGM's arena.

The concert was completely sold out to approximately 15,000 of the geekiest, most middle-aged, white bread, cubicle-dwelling drones this nation has ever produced. I refer to them as my people. The douchebag in this picture was actually on the town in Vegas with a fake parrot on his shoulder (and some people make fun of my Jacket).

Anyway, we paid $8 each for some Land Shark Beer, and listened to nearly 3 hours of Jimmy's brand of Gulf and Western music. The audience knew every song and we all sang as if someone had paid $100 to hear us croon. I paid $30 for a t-shirt.

Unfortunately, we had to leave before the second encore because I really had to pee and all the bathrooms in the arena were closed from some plumbing problem.

At this point we made another key mistake. Our Buffet tickets guaranteed us free entry to Studio 54 at the MGM Grand. But Jim insisted on going outside to get some fresh air (the Buffett crowd had been engaged in some agricultural burning). Once outside, we decided to head to the Paris casino to get a light dinner to keep our energy level up. We made a brief detour at Planet Hollywood for some gambling, but were horrified at the $20 minimum stakes at the tables there. Unable to afford that, we spent a few disconsolate minutes staring at the go-go dancers working in the gaming area, then headed back to the nickel slots. These demon machines emptied our pockets the way the lady that's known as Lou pinched the poke of the half-crazed miner in ``The Killing of Dan McGrew.''

If we'd been thinking clearly, we'd have returned immediately to Studio 54 and spent a few hours on the dance floor, where the Vegas Jacket would no doubt that drawn the spotlight often. Instead, we headed on to Paris, where we found all the cafes closed for the night even though it was only about 12:30 a.m. (and they say Spokane is a hick town).

It seemed like a bright idea to take a $20 cab ride back down to Fremont Street, where we could play some cheap table games. The cabbie insisted on giving us a long discourse on O.J. Simpson's recent trial, saying it was all over when the Juice got a lady judge who was going to make him pay for killing his wife. We also discussed Mike Tyson, and the length of these conversations got me thinking that we might be taking a long and expensive route to the cheap tables.

Back at Fitz's, we found that our luck had run out and quickly lost our money. I headed over to a penny slot machine, which is generally the last stop before a guy enters a life of male prostitution or journalism. But my $2 stake quickly grew to about $40 and I cashed out. Then, while waiting for Jim to go to the bathroom, I threw a quarter into a slot and 90 quarters spurted out the bottom. George, who'd been losing like a Chicago Cub the entire trip, unleashed a string of expletives entirely unsuited to his profession as a high school guidance counselor. I gave him one of the quarters, which he stuck in a machine and lost.

Exhausted, we took a cab back to the Trop. The other two went to the room while I threw a $20 bill into a slot machine and lost it all in about 10 pulls (insert joke here). We were all in bed by 3 a.m.

He Went to Vegas, Looking for Buffett ...

2008-10-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

Just returned from the Jimmy Buffett show in Las Vegas and my head is swimming from the experience. I'll sort it all out in a major post later, but wanted to share the news that it was a life changing experience.

Of course, I wore the Vegas Jacket to the show (or more precisely the Jacket wore me). There was the the usual pandemonium at the appearance of the garment. Some men might be upset that a few patches of funny-looking cotton gets so much attention, but I am not one of them.

Go Saxons

2008-10-17T07:53:00.000-07:00

My middle son Tom is playing on the Ferris High freshman football team this season. Here he is carrying the ball in a recent game. Tom just got braces and ordered them in his favorite color, orange, so he now sports a grill.

Ann for President

2008-10-14T18:35:00.001-07:00

I found out last night that Ann is apparently running for president of the United States. This came in the form of emails from people. Have a look:

http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=46832&altf=Boo&altl=Kpzdf

Ann would run on a platform of fiscal conservatism (which I oppose), clean living (which I oppose) , truth (which I oppose) and respect for others (which I oppose).

I'm Nick Geranios, and I disapprove of this message.

In the photo, Ann contemplates the draperies in the Oval Office.

Actually, Ann is already president. Of her new company. Check out the web site at www.preps2go.com

Well Hung

2008-10-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

I was looking through some old pictures at work and found this nice shot from another routine day at the office. I believe I am rappeling into northern Idaho in search of a lost tribe of Democrats reported living in a lost valley near Garwood. If memory serves, I did not find these elusive Donkey worshippers, but I did come back with a new appreciation for longer shorts.

Pumpkin at work

2008-10-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of Pumpkin working at her summer job as a waitress in Seattle this past summer. She's back at college now back east, and called this week to tell us she had bought a dog, but not a yippy purse dog. Her brothers are very excited to see this dog during Christmas break, as we have never had a pet before.

Garage Sale of Doom

2008-10-08T12:26:00.001-07:00

After a decade of failure, we finally got out act together enough to have a massive garage sale last weekend.

Naturally there were torrential downpours both days, which depressed attendance.

We still managed to sell some $250 worth of old clothes, books, furniture, tools and other amazing items.

I was surprised by some things that did not sell, including a kitchen table, bedroom furniture and a kneeboard. Make me an offer

Greek fest

2008-10-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

I recently worked the annual Greek dinner festival at my church, and once again had a blast serving about 1,200 takeout meals from a tent in the parking lot. Had lots of good help from Ann and my sons and other parishioners. I dusted off my old jokes about the revenues being split among the three members of the Holy Trinity, and about how any bounced checks would see the writer go to Hell. As usual, we drank a lot of wine out of paper cups while we worked, and i did some Zorba dancing behind the counter. Chicks dig Zorba.

Here is a picture of us preparing to open the tent for lunch. That's Ann on the left, wondering if all Greek people are as strange as her husband.

Appointment TV

2008-10-01T14:39:00.001-07:00

You can tell a lot about a guy by the television shows he regularly watches. My list of appointment TV is pretty long, reflecting I have no actual life. Shows I make an effort to watch are The Office, Battlestar Galactica, TruBlood, Entourage, Burn Notice and Desperate Housewives. I watch Weeds when it comes out on video. This is in addition to a full slate of sports, History Channel and other random shows that pop up during channel surfing expeditions.

Very special shorts

2008-09-23T18:46:00.000-07:00

We are one month out from the Jimmy Buffett concert in Vegas and some people have questioned whether I am a true Parrothead or not. To that I have only one answer: Feast your eyes on these Margaritaville boxer shorts, know I have worn them, and be assured I will wear them again! If that's not true devotion, I don't know what is.

Nickfest, continues

2008-09-18T15:36:00.001-07:00

For those keeping score, I'm about five weeks out from the Jimmy Buffett concert in Las Vegas. This is the key event in the first six months of Nickfest, which is the yearlong celebration leading to my 50th birthday next March.
To prepare, I've been drinking Land Shark beer and Margaritaville tequila, reading Buffett novels, listening to his dozens of albums and to Radio Margaritaville, wearing Buffett boxer shorts with a big parrot on them (I'll try to post a pix asap) ; planning to eat at Margaritaville on the Las Vegas Strip, and trying to decide how many official prefunctions I should attend down there.

Battle in Seattle

2008-09-18T15:36:00.000-07:00

Publicity for the new movie ``Battle in Seattle'' has given me a chance to reminisce on going there to cover the original street demonstrations. It was a wild couple of nights, and perhaps my best chance to experience what the street demonstrations of the 1960s were like. One strong memory is the strong smell of vinegar emanating from many people. They dipped their bandanas in vinegar to cut the sting from tear gas.

For those wondering, other big stories I covered over the years include the last bombing by Unibomber Ted Kaczynski in Sacramento, followed by his capture in Montana; the 1989 earthquake in San Francisco; the 1985 Super Bowl season of the Chicago Bears; three executions, several serial killers and the opening of Al Capone's vault by Geraldo Rivera. I'm not making that up.

lucinda

2008-09-01T07:15:00.000-07:00

went to see lucinda williams last night with some friends at Riverfront Park. She was one of the free acts at Pig Out In the Park, spokane's annual outdoor food fest in which local restaurants charge $8 for a sandwich that normally sells for $5.

Lucinda was good and the food, of course, was huge.

Pleasant pasttimes

2008-08-25T16:20:00.001-07:00

Sigh. i do suffer during the summer months. On Friday, I played the new golf course at Washington State University for a feature story on the spread. That's me admiring one of the few drives that I didn't shank into the wheat fields that serve as the rough. Note the amazing shirt.

On Saturday, Ann and I and some friends rode the Trail of the Hiawatha, a 13-mile rail-trail that passes through numerous Rocky Mountain tunnels and over trestles near Lookout Pass on the Idaho-Montana border. Ann and the Lemckes (both in black) rode both ways. I (red shirt with beer gut) and the Johnsons (lighter clothes, goofy looking guy) rode the 13-mile downhill portion, then rode the shuttle bus back up to our waiting beers. A guy from Logan, Utah, offered us money for a beer, but Bruce gave him a free Kokanee. Dude was very grateful.

Afterward we ate buffalo burgers at the Snakepit in Enaville, an ancient and colorful restaurant where the owner gave us free huckleberry ice cream. The end of a perfect day.

Halfway to Nickfest

2008-08-18T12:04:00.001-07:00

This morning, I followed a flatbed truck containing one of those concrete grave liners during my commute to work on I-90.

That reminded that we are nearly halfway through Nickfest, the year-long celebration leading to my 50th birthday that will climax next March 9. I got to thinking about progress on my list of tasks to complete for this momentous event. Here are the findings:

1, Hot trophy wife: check
2, Cute kids: check
3, Lose 20 pounds: Still working on that.
4, Career fulfillment: I cry with happiness each day.
5, Nickfest location: Still debating over Cancun, Vegas or my house.
6, Sports car: My Durango is looking more sporty.
7, Jimmy Buffett concert: Upcoming in late October.
8, Regular receipt of presents: A dismal failure.

Photo: Still searching for the prefect Nickfest location.

Karaoke King of Spokane, Part II

2008-08-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that my wife Ann has left Mother AP after 14 years of service to launch her own business, known as Preps2Go.

Many of you may also suspect that her going-away party was another golden opportunity for the Karaoke King of Spokane to unleash a custom-written and performed tribute song.

However, enormous technical difficulties (I forgot to bring speakers) prevented this song from being properly heard at Annfest because the throngs were busy stuffing their faces with the delicious smoked and BBQ foods created by John and Brian. Also, the batteries on my digital camera were dead, preventing a recording that captured the manic energy of a live Nick performance.

Because of that, I was forced to record a version of the song in my office, with only Cameraman Carey as an audience. (If Carey were more successful with the ladies, the audience might have been bigger). The video was rushed onto youtube, and below is a link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9_96mUhLdg

You have been warned.

My Little Pretty One

2008-08-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

We were out to dinner last night and the issue of musical taste came up. Specifically, it was my lack of taste for insisting that ``My Sharona'' is the greatest pop song of all time. Can there be any serious disagreement over this? If anyone can nominate a greater song, I'd like to see it.

Farewell to the Toby Keith

2008-08-12T18:10:00.000-07:00

Here's a recent picture of Eli and I lounging at the marina where I keep my boat. That spectacular black cowboy hat I'm wearing _ a Toby Keith _ is no more. The hat flew off my head when I was pulling a water skier during Joycefest and by the time we returned to the area it could no longer be found. Fortunately, I have a large collection of hats.

Images of Joycefest

2008-08-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

Here are some stunning images from our vacation with Ann's family:

1, Brad Pitt

2, Young ladies lounging in the hot tub

3, waiting for dinner

4, The Next Generation

Ann on Vaca

2008-08-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

Here's Ann looking relaxed during our week vacation at a place on Deer Lake. We had friends up with us during the first part of the week, and then more than 30 members of Ann's family for our annual Joycefest extended weekend. As usual, it was huge

fire close call

2008-07-21T16:22:00.000-07:00

We walked on the trails in my neighborhood over the weekend, where we could clearly see the damage done by the wildfire that burned 11 homes a few days ago. Below are some pictures of the burned forest, showing a house that was spared thanks to firefighters. our house is about a mile from this area.

Fire

2008-07-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

A wildfire forced us to evacuate our house on Thursday evening, and we were not allowed back in until Friday afternoon. Fortunately, we did not suffer any damage. But 13 houses over the hill were destroyed. I worked from home covering the story until we had to evacuate (a newsman is always on the job).

The fire occurred the same day that Ann quit her job at the AP to start her own business. I see it as a good omen, proving she has a hot concept.

Marina

2008-07-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

Finding time to go on the boat is always a challenge, but we got out for a few hours on Lake Coeur d'Alene on Sunday. Here's me and Eli at the wheel. Unfortunately, the boat battery was dead, so we spent most of the time recharging it.

That's Ann on the left enjoying watching we work to get the boat going.

The Cousins

2008-07-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

Had a little Geranios family reunion in Seattle last weekend, which allowed some of the far-flung cousins to spend quality time together. Since this bunch is scattered among Alabama, Portland, Seattle and Spokane, they don't see each other often. That's Dora (left) and Zoe in the front. In back, from left, that's Jennifer, Korina, Eli, Shawn and Tom. We're just walking back from Discovery Park in Seattle, an excellent place.

Hoopfest 2008

2008-07-02T12:47:00.000-07:00

The annual Hoopfest 3-on-3 basketball tournament has come and gone, and as usual I had several children and numerous nieces and nephews playing on the streets of Spokane. Here are some action photos from the weekend. The picture on the left is Tom and his cousins and a friend. In the center I am coaching during one tight game. I had a poor 1-5 record coaching this season, a new low. At right is a picture of Eli and two other players. It was about 99 degrees all weekend, but we all came out OK.

The One that almost got me

2008-07-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

Here's the pine tree that ate my chain saw and then ended up falling on the neighbor's power lines. Doesn't look so tough now, does it?

I've got to stop this Paul Bunyan act

Eli gets promoted

2008-07-02T12:37:00.000-07:00

eli recently completed the sixth grade and will be attending junior high next year. That means for the first time since 1991, we dont have a kid in elementary school. that's a sure sign of aging. Here I am with Eli at his promotion ceremony.

As usual, we had an end of the school year party at our house. here are a bunch of the parents, horrified at what our children are doing

2008-07-02T12:36:00.001-07:00

Update

2008-06-24T07:08:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy week or so. Here are the details:

1, My efforts to buy a 1998 Mercedes-Benz sports car were crushed at the intersection of Fiscal Reality and Marital Bliss. The auto bling will have to wait.

2, Last weekend I tried to cut down a 100-foot pine tree in my backyard and ended up dropping it on the neighbor's power and cable TV lines. But at least the power lines were sheared completely from the pole, so live wires did not hit the dry pine needles on the ground. Also, the falling tree missed all structures and people, and also did not cut off my cable. Still, the fire department and utility were a little pissed.

3, Two new band names: Me Love You Long Time and Vile Competent People (that one from Linda) .

4, As always, I look to the future: Only 4 more months till the Buffett concert and nine more months until Nickfest.

Nickfest continues

2008-06-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

This is a belated thanks to co-worker Carey Williams for particpating in the year long celebration leading to my 50th birthday, which I call Nickfest.

As you know, I am soliciting gifts all year long. Carey gave me this fine DVD of my favorite singer, Jimmy Buffett, performing in one of my favorite venues, Wrigley Field. It was epically thoughtful of him to give me this, and I hope it will be just the latest in an escalating cascade of gifts that so far has been slow to materialize.

FYI, I will be seeing Buffett perform at the MGM Grand in Vegas in mid-October.

Spokane's biggest pimp

2008-06-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

After a cross-state search that took me from The Leroy Store in Seattle to Ross in Spokane, I received this perfect Panama hat for Father's Day.

It's my goal to wear this Panama all summer long, part of the master plan to morph into a Mexican padron for the next stage of life.

Here I am posing in my back yard, which Ann has meticulously landscaped all spring. That's our firepit on the left, and the tennis court in the background. We spend a lot of hours on the lawn.

Spokane Falls, and it can't get up

2008-05-30T07:36:00.000-07:00

Among the admittedly short list of reasons to live in Spokane is the thundering Spokane River Falls through downtown this time of year, when snowmelt fills the river. These pix were taken by me in Riverfront Park near my office. That's me in the center, contemplating the larger mysteries of life while coated with the spray of the falls. Buckaroo took the pix

Serenade to John

2008-05-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

After working together for the past 12 years, and for the same company for the past 25, John left the company this week for a new job with the state of Washington. This was a momentous occasion that required an epic performance. To see the results, click on the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpkVP9BydIw

This follows by one week my performance of We've Lost That Ammons Feeling at Dave's going away party. That recording _ like the tape of my legendary night with Pamela Anderson _ has yet to surface.

FYI, I'm starting a new business in which I will write and perform karaoke songs for customers. If you have a family member, friend, co-worker, etc who deserves a song especially written and performed for them, contact the Karoake King via this blog. Give a once in a lifetime gift now.

Return of Randa

2008-05-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

The daughter Miranda returned home yesterday for the summer. She will be a college senior next year. This picture is 3 years old from her high school graduation, but it's the most recent I have available right now. She goes to college on the East Coast, so we are always very excited when she comes home. That's my mother in the background.

Goodbye to Dave

2008-05-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

The Vegas Jacket and I went to Seattle last weekend for the going-away party of colleague Dave Ammons, who ended a 3-decade Associated Press career by taking a job with the state.

As is my custom, I wrote and performed a karaoke song for the occasion. It was a version of ``You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling,'' rewritten as ``We've Lost That Ammons Feeling.''

I think it was a showstopper, although the tune is quite complex and required a script AND my laptop to work properly. Thanks to Dave Herron for helping me get all the technical issues right.

It was very hot in Seattle, and wearing the jacket only made it hotter. Fortunately, I packed shorts and bought some comfortable shoes. There were some fine performances by other members of the staff, including Gene, George, Tim and The Pussycat Dolls. But none was dressed theatrically enough, in my opinion.

I have to do this all over again on Friday, when the only other writer here in Spokane, John Wiley, also leaves the company to work for the state. I have written a special tune for him, and hope to figure out how to put a clip on this blog.

Below is another picture from Dave's party, showing Dave, right, and Rachel, left, appearing to enjoy my performance.

Band Names

2008-05-20T16:25:00.000-07:00

We haven't done potential band names in awhile. Here's some new ones:

For an Emo band: The Ennui-ners (say it aloud)

heavy metal band: Cannon Fodder

Glam rockers: Stiletto Heels

Boy Band: Extra Virgin Olive Oil

as always, if you take a name, you owe me money

The Spirit of Nickfest

2008-05-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

Already we are two months into Nickfest, the year-long celebration leading up to my epic 50th birthday bash next March. Yet only one person has truly jumped into the spirit of regular gift-giving that this occasion requires. Below is a photo of Charlie's latest gifts, a cigar and a floating key holder for my boat.

Thanks again, Charlie, for all that you do.

Incidentally, I finally got fully into the Nickfest spirit myself by buying three tickets to Jimmy Buffett's concert at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas next October. My two brothers and I will roam Sin City again.

To the faithful reader who asked what was behind me in the recent pix from Caesar's Palace, I assume he was talking about the skywalk across the Strip.

And thanks to all of you who saw my recent swimsuit picture and asked if I had appeared in the movie ``Boogie Nights.'' I did not. That was Mark Wahlberg.

At left, Charlie hits another ace.