Faithful readers of this blog, if any remain after the swimsuit photo, know that I have discovered troubling links between popular television shows of the 1960s and our world today. Two more shows from that era that foreshadow the modern world recently came to mind. They are:
The Dating Game, in which a gullible person blindly questions three members of the opposite sex, trying to determine through easily-evaded questions which would be a suitable mate. Questions such as ``if you actually earned a salary, how much would your salary be,'' eventually took us down the path to the current subprime mortgage meltdown.
Tarzan, in which a semi-articulate white man who is descended from a noble family seeks to dominate his wild environment through brute force and animal cunning. This was George W. Bush's favorite show.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Your fantasy
Some people are asking if that recent photo of me is what I really look like. Come on people. We all know by now that fashion photography is the art of air-brushing, lights, camera angles and staging. Nobody looks that good in real life.
Here's a candid picture of me at home reading the latest film script I've been offered.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
On Her Majesty's Secret Servant
Some of you may have noticed I haven't posted in awhile, and I'm worried I might be losing readers. To lure you back, I'm resorting to the oldest trick in the publications world: swimsuit edition. Here's a picture of me in a swimsuit.
There are no indignities to which I will not stoop to keep readers.
As you might expect, this swimsuit has a story. My brother George went to see the latest James Bond movie when it came out, and was stunned by the scene when the new Bond comes out of the ocean wearing a version of the bathing suit you see below. George is straight, but very fashionable, and immediately ordered the suit off the Internet.
Alas, when it arrived, it was too big for his slender frame. He ordered a smaller one, and then wondered where he could get rid of the plus-size version.
That's where I came in.
He gave it to me during a family gathering in Seattle, and here I am trying it on. Fits like a glove.
That's Bond, Nick Bond.
There are no indignities to which I will not stoop to keep readers.
As you might expect, this swimsuit has a story. My brother George went to see the latest James Bond movie when it came out, and was stunned by the scene when the new Bond comes out of the ocean wearing a version of the bathing suit you see below. George is straight, but very fashionable, and immediately ordered the suit off the Internet.
Alas, when it arrived, it was too big for his slender frame. He ordered a smaller one, and then wondered where he could get rid of the plus-size version.
That's where I came in.
He gave it to me during a family gathering in Seattle, and here I am trying it on. Fits like a glove.
That's Bond, Nick Bond.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Farewell to 2007-08
A spectacular and historic college basketball season has nearly ended here in the Inland Northwest. Washington State and Gonzaga spent much of the season in the Top 25, meaning my Mondays, Thursdays, Saturdays and some Sundays were spent watching basketball games. I figure I covered 25 Top 25 games this year. That's a lot of tight deadlines.
Gonzaga lost in the first round of the NCAA tournament, and Washington State lost to North Carolina in the Sweet 16. This weekend I'm helping out at the women's NCAA regional finals in Spokane, meaning three more games and my season is officially over.
There are worse assignments than top college basketball. Like, virtually everything. But I do look forward to covering some news for awhile.
All that basketball was good for some things. I am currently ranked third in my NCAA pool, and still have a chance to win. Go Bruins.
Gonzaga lost in the first round of the NCAA tournament, and Washington State lost to North Carolina in the Sweet 16. This weekend I'm helping out at the women's NCAA regional finals in Spokane, meaning three more games and my season is officially over.
There are worse assignments than top college basketball. Like, virtually everything. But I do look forward to covering some news for awhile.
All that basketball was good for some things. I am currently ranked third in my NCAA pool, and still have a chance to win. Go Bruins.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Nickfest Begins
Finally, we have some people on board with the concept of Nickfest.
On Monday evening, Charlie Lemcke from my tennis team gave me the first present of the year-long celebration leading to my 50th Birthday. Thanks for the airplane Charlie, and thanks for showing others the way.
When I related this inspiring tale at work on Tuesday, Carmen opened her desk drawer and gave me a packet for a fizzy energy drink. It was her first Nickfest contribution.
Below is a picture of the airplane. Unfortunately, I mixed the fizzy drink and threw away the wrapper. Sorry about the lack of picture, Carmen, but your thoughfulness remains.
On an unrelated note, I have Gonzaga and Washington State winning their first two games in the NCAA tournament. Since I covered two dozen Top 25 games this season, that should pretty much guarantee victory.
Nickfest takes off, and so does this fine aircraft.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Tennis Trauma
The woes of my tennis teams are piling up like hits to the website where Elliott Spitzer hired hookers.
Last Saturday, my 3.0 team was crushed 4-1 by the North Parker led by Alf Lismanis. That dropped our record to 2-2 and raised the possibility we will miss the playoffs for the first time since 1999. My partner Mark and I got the only victory. Kudos to Sonny Boy and Jeff Johnson for putting up a heroic fight as last-second additions to the team. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten.
On the 3.5 level, we were destroyed 5-0 by the superteam captained by Ed Seier. We won so few games that our set scores looked like the starting lineup of a women's basketball team: 6-0, 6-1, 6-2, etc. That leaves us 0-2, but confident that we won't play any team this good the rest of the season.
Last Saturday, my 3.0 team was crushed 4-1 by the North Parker led by Alf Lismanis. That dropped our record to 2-2 and raised the possibility we will miss the playoffs for the first time since 1999. My partner Mark and I got the only victory. Kudos to Sonny Boy and Jeff Johnson for putting up a heroic fight as last-second additions to the team. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten.
On the 3.5 level, we were destroyed 5-0 by the superteam captained by Ed Seier. We won so few games that our set scores looked like the starting lineup of a women's basketball team: 6-0, 6-1, 6-2, etc. That leaves us 0-2, but confident that we won't play any team this good the rest of the season.
Best TV Shows Ever, Part II
Three other television shows from the 1960s that set eerie precedents for today also come to mind:
Get Smart: A documentary about the U.S. intelligence community that provides perhaps the clearest explanation of why our nation was led into Iraq on a search for weapons of mass destruction. It also explains why oil revenues have not paid for the war effort, and why we are still fighting a losing war. Missed it by that much.
Bewitched: This is the story of a man with a witch for a wife, a witch for a mother-in-law, a sleazy, slimy boss, and who can be replaced at any time by some other Dick and nobody notices. In other words, it is perhaps the most realistic show of all time.
The Beverly Hillbillies: An allegory about the rise of the Arab oil plutocracy (the Clampetts) and their attempts to violently impose their beliefs on our country (represented by Beverly Hills) with the aid of corrupt capitalists (Mr. Drysdale). Osama Bin Laden is foreshadowed by the character of Jethro Bodine, with Miss Jane standing in for the Bush family and its love of the Saudi royal family.
Get Smart: A documentary about the U.S. intelligence community that provides perhaps the clearest explanation of why our nation was led into Iraq on a search for weapons of mass destruction. It also explains why oil revenues have not paid for the war effort, and why we are still fighting a losing war. Missed it by that much.
Bewitched: This is the story of a man with a witch for a wife, a witch for a mother-in-law, a sleazy, slimy boss, and who can be replaced at any time by some other Dick and nobody notices. In other words, it is perhaps the most realistic show of all time.
The Beverly Hillbillies: An allegory about the rise of the Arab oil plutocracy (the Clampetts) and their attempts to violently impose their beliefs on our country (represented by Beverly Hills) with the aid of corrupt capitalists (Mr. Drysdale). Osama Bin Laden is foreshadowed by the character of Jethro Bodine, with Miss Jane standing in for the Bush family and its love of the Saudi royal family.
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