Tuesday, April 29, 2008

One last piece of Nostradamus TV

One more classic television show of the 1960s that gave us an eerily accurate picture of our own future was the original Star Trek.

Fans of this show can' t help but see that it was a virtual blueprint for the presidency of Bill Clinton.

Captain Kirk was clearly the role model for Clinton; a reckless, amoral, violent adventurer prone to self-delusion and rampant womanizing with females of any species.

When seeking a vice president, Clinton chose a Mr. Spock clone named Mr. Gore, a stiff, emotionless creature of logic with no sense of humor, who could easily put people to sleep.

Clinton's Dr. McCoy was his own wife Hillary, an excitable know-it-all who liked telling people off. (this description could apply to many spouses).

Clinton battled both the standard variety of pro-business, small government Republicans (represented in the show by the Romulans), and the blood-thirsty right wing Moral Majority nut jobs consumed by God and gays (presented in the show as Klingons).

Finally, the rest of the nation served as The Guys in the Red Shirts, expendable cogs who always die first.

``If you need to boldly go, it's the first door to the right.''

Thursday, April 24, 2008

A Man In Full

For some reason, this picture makes me very, very happy.
Is it the sunshine after a winter of snow?
Is it because I'm in Vegas, crossing from Ceasar's to the Flamingo, with a stop at Margaritaville in between?
Is it the stogie?
How about the mysterious bandage on my cheek?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Television shows or prophecy?

Faithful readers of this blog, if any remain after the swimsuit photo, know that I have discovered troubling links between popular television shows of the 1960s and our world today. Two more shows from that era that foreshadow the modern world recently came to mind. They are:

The Dating Game, in which a gullible person blindly questions three members of the opposite sex, trying to determine through easily-evaded questions which would be a suitable mate. Questions such as ``if you actually earned a salary, how much would your salary be,'' eventually took us down the path to the current subprime mortgage meltdown.

Tarzan, in which a semi-articulate white man who is descended from a noble family seeks to dominate his wild environment through brute force and animal cunning. This was George W. Bush's favorite show.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Your fantasy

Some people are asking if that recent photo of me is what I really look like. Come on people. We all know by now that fashion photography is the art of air-brushing, lights, camera angles and staging. Nobody looks that good in real life.
Here's a candid picture of me at home reading the latest film script I've been offered.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

On Her Majesty's Secret Servant

Some of you may have noticed I haven't posted in awhile, and I'm worried I might be losing readers. To lure you back, I'm resorting to the oldest trick in the publications world: swimsuit edition. Here's a picture of me in a swimsuit.

There are no indignities to which I will not stoop to keep readers.

As you might expect, this swimsuit has a story. My brother George went to see the latest James Bond movie when it came out, and was stunned by the scene when the new Bond comes out of the ocean wearing a version of the bathing suit you see below. George is straight, but very fashionable, and immediately ordered the suit off the Internet.

Alas, when it arrived, it was too big for his slender frame. He ordered a smaller one, and then wondered where he could get rid of the plus-size version.

That's where I came in.

He gave it to me during a family gathering in Seattle, and here I am trying it on. Fits like a glove.

That's Bond, Nick Bond.