I Am Fartacus

As a professional wordsmith, I am very interested in learning new expressions. Lately I've been exposed by my sons to several new terms regarding flatulence, and cannot stop myself from sharing them here:


1, Buttercup: When you pass gas into your hand, clench your fist and then open it in someone's face.


2, Cropdusting: When you pass gas near the face of a sleeping person.

3, Arabian gas mask: Even I refrain from defining this in public. It is disgusting.


These and much more can be found at the Urban Dictionary.

Papa Bear

This is my 13-year-old son Tom, who played Pop Warner football for a team called the Bears this year. Tom played quarterback, running back and linebacker and this is his third season playing football. For Dad, football is a very exciting game to watch, and I can't help getting passionate about rooting for da' Bears.

There is a funny coincidence in this, because in 1984 and 1985, I covered the Chicago Bears while a sportswriter in Chicago for AP. Those with long memories will remember the magical 1985 Bears who Super Bowl Shuffled all the way to the championship. In 25 years, that may be the best assignment I ever had, and Tom's team brought back memories of that. Wonder if the Cougs will need him?

Dad's day

This is Sonny Boy, a freshman at Washington State. I went down to Dad's Weekend for the first time last weekend, and we had a blast hanging out together. I didn't realize what a fun time that could be.

I stunned him with my skills at Beer Pong.

However, I did not bring a camera with me, so this pix of us is actually from Mexico earlier this year. But Sonny looks about the same.

Zags Jacket

The saga of the Vegas Jacket continues. I wore it to cover the first Gonzaga basketball game of the season, and the reaction from workers and fans at the game was, as usual, overwhelming. A security guard said he hadn't seen anything like it in decades. Team officials offered me a separate chair in the press box to drape the jacket. Players took time out from warming up to stare in awe.

My fashion-challenged fellow reporters, however, were less impressed. Several asked if I had killed my couch or been attacked by a plaid monster. I warned them that I might continue to wear the jacket until the Zags lose at home (they are 41-1 there in 3 seasons). That seemed to shut them down a bit.

After the game I wore the jacket out to dinner with my tennis buddies. They suggested we adopt the jacket as our team warmup uniform. This is a great idea because I got it off the clearance rack at Ralph Lauren and there were a lot left, in many sizes, at a good price.

More Band Names

Some additional names for future rock bands have occurred to me.

For my Beavis and Butt-head tribute band, how about ``I Am Cornholio.'' This band will play the songs from the rock videos the two high achievers critiqued on their show. This name beat out ``Are You Threatening Me,'' which seemed too obscure.

Other obvious band names from television shows I like: ``Pam or Angela?'' and ``Joy or Catalina?''

My brother suggested ``Dumpster Divers.''

Miranda is 21!!

My daughter Miranda turns 21 today! We have spawned an adult!!

That's Miranda on our family vacation to Puerta Vallarta this spring.

She's been away at school in Europe since September, and her parents and three brothers anxiously await her return at Christmas.

Miranda is a great cook and we miss all the foods she makes us. However, it appears from the photo that I am still finding things to eat.

Miranda was born in Springfield, Ill., the Land of Lincoln, when her father was a reporter in the Illinois Statehouse. She has lived in Yakima, Wash., Sacramento, Calif., and Spokane, Wash. In high school she was an honor student and lettered in soccer, tennis and cross country. We are very proud of her.