Prayer for the Zags

Our Father, who art at Jack n' Dan's, please help thy Zags avoid yet another one-and-done appearance in the NCAA tournament. Allow them to shoot, rebound and pass on Akron, thus closing the zipper on the Zips' foreskins. May we witness a parade of stuffs, dunks and breakaways not seen since Memphis was in town. And while you're at it, Heavenly Father, please rain misfortune upon thy Washington Huskies, who so feareth the Zags that they prefer to play Texas Southern, Kentucky Eastern or Little Sistereth of the Poor instead. And continue smiling on the Idaho Vandals, who playeth in some tournament no one has ever heard of. And please console thy Washington State with a promise of another deep run in the NCAAs next year, but only if they follow the mandates of St. Tony of the Palouse.