Am I the only one who noticed that the old pop hit ``Knock Three Times'' by Tony Orlando and Dawn is one of the most terrifying songs of all time? Some poor girl is being stalked by a psycho who lives in an upstairs apartment and is demanding that she demonstrate her affection with a broom stick. What if she doesn't comply? What are the consequences? Will he break in and kill her? Just read these chilling lines:
``Hey girl what ya doin' down there
Dancin' alone every night while I live right above you?
I can hear your music playin'
I can feel your body swayin'
One floor below me you don't even know me I love you.''
Yes, Dr. Lecter, I'm sure she loves you too.
``Oh, my darling, Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no
Oh, my sweetness (knock, knock, knock) Means you'll meet me in the hallway
Mmm, twice on the pipe means you ain't gonna show.''
Is that pipe reference some kind of threat? Or a veiled sexual reference?
``If you look out your window tonight
Pull in the string with the note that's attached to my heart
Read how many times I saw you
How in my silence I adored you
And only in my dreams did that wall between us come apart.''
We can all agree that the above lines are some of the most depraved writing since Mother Teresa's memoirs.
Next, I reveal the awful subtext of Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree