After a long career in print media, I'm finally getting a chance to do all those things they always accuse reporters of doing: Writing down my opinions and offering them to the public.
Lets get started with some basic ground rules. I love sports. I love making fun of idiots. I love Las Vegas. I have lots of ideas I think are brilliant. For instance, my idea of a self-help book would be titled ``If You Aren't Consumed With Self-Loathing, You Aren't Paying Attention.'' This means you.
Also I like to make up band names. The default name of my band, should I ever take up music, is Swaggering Petty Dictators, and we would dress in military uniforms and sun glasses. Studly Nerds is also a possibility.
This is harder than I thought and it is late. Good night