Just got done with my annual 3 days of volunteer work at the Greek food festival at my church. I run the takeout tent, where we serve hundreds of dinners per day to enthusiastic crowds. As a Greek, I find this annual jolt of restauranteering very good for my soul. However, I'm not sure everyone gets my jokes. When I tell people to make out their checks to Holy Trinity, I add that we divide the money among all three. After 9-11, I suggested that our advertising campaign include the slogan: The Greek Orthodox Church, fighting Muslim extremists for 14 centuries. It was nixed. When we raised the prices, I told customers the price of salvation had gone up. And my wife works alongside me and insists on telling everyone that they must talk only to me because she is a submissive Greek wife (she is not submissive or Greek). In the outdoor food area, we all drink wine out of paper cups and eat the fried dough goodies called loukoumades all night long, so we are bloated and blasted by the end of the night.
This has me thinking of opening a Greek restaurant in the mall. The employees would wear scarlet capes like the Spartans of old (except for those who work the deep fat fryer). We could serve meals on shields instead of trays (come back with your Baklava or upon it!) and, for a catchy display, we could have a Persian impaled on the wall with a javelin, his plastic guts threatening to drop on the grill. Our slogan: ``Spartans, tonight we dine on gyros!''
LATEST BAND NAME: a co-worker suggested an excellent band name yesterday: Enablers For Your Downward Spiral.
NEXT UP: The importance of the Fredo jacket when going to Vegas